Articles by Michael Ian Black
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Mind Thoughts... with Michael Ian Black - In Spite of Everything, I Would Still Let You Suck My Dick
When we met that summer night outside the 7-11, I thought you were perfect. Your eyes, glassy and vague. Your hair, mostly shaven. Your lips, smeared with lipstick and Cheetos residue. Even your zits looked good to me that summer night, zits I wished to puncture with my teeth, and whose nectar I wished to drink. Full story
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Mind Thoughts... with Michael Ian Black - I Will Kill You
President Obama, I would like to offer my services as an assassin. Please let me kill our enemies, foreign or domestic. Full story
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Mind Thoughts... with Michael Ian Black - Let’s Not Fuck, Shall We?
I hate the way men are stereotyped as sex-starved cock robots. I feel like I am a good man. I’m just not a horny man. Unless we’re talking about BJs. Full story
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Mind Thoughts... with Michael Ian Black - Mustard Is the King of Condiments, and I Will Prove it, Dickhead
Put down that tomato period and pick up the condiment of the revolution. Full story
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Mind Thoughts... with Michael Ian Black - Dead Celebrities
A dead celebrity is so much more exciting than a live one. Full story
Deportee Purgatory
Welcome to Tijuana’s El Bordo 
'Leviathan,' I Love You
James Franco at the Movies 
Juggalos Are OK, Cupid
Don’t Be a Tumblr Asshole 
Get Rich or High Trying
The Coming Age of Corporate Cannabis 
Triple Hate - Part 1
The KKK vs. the Crips vs. Memphis City Council 
Rave and Hardcore YouTube Comments
They Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity 
