Monica Heisey

Articles by Monica Heisey

  • Are You Ready to Fuck Like a Nerd?

    As a group, nerds may be especially suited—if not wholly predisposed—to great sex and relationships. After all, what is a nerd but someone who's thought about something longer and deeper than you?

  • This Guy Wants to Help You Download Your Brain

    Having your brain stuck in a big bag of meat and bone is pretty gross, huh? Some futurists claim that in a few decades we'll be able to (finally) upload our neural activity into a computer, and I talked with a researcher who's working on that.

  • A Visit to the World's Only Floating Cat Sanctuary

    On a recent visit to Amsterdam, I had a short chat with Sandra, one of the volunteers who run the "world's only floating cat hospital" about what it's like keeping a bunch of lil furries on a small boat in the middle of a city.

  • Orgasmic Meditation Is a Whole New Way to Stroke Pussy

    If you feel like there's something wrong with your life, maybe your problem is you aren't getting off enough—at least, that's what proponents of the OneTaste movement say.

  • I Had a Food Fight with a Food Fetishist

    My initial plan was a series of interviews. I would talk to a few different people about their obscure fetishes in an effort to find out what exactly was so hot about a woman sitting on you like you're a chair or knowing someone really needs to pee or smooshing a birthday cake wi…

  • Shut the Hell Up About My Open Relationship

    I'm in an open relationship—this means the person spooning me to sleep at night is not always my boyfriend. Of the issues we face as a pair, I’d say the most annoying one is knowing that, after divulging our relationship choices, it is the only thing that people want to talk abo…

  • Anthea Pokroy Is Trying to Create a Ginger Utopia

    Being ginger, I’ve had to fight my way out of baying throngs of murderous persecutors more times than I’d like to remember. So when I found out that artist Anthea Pokroy’s first solo exhibition was called 'I collect gingers,' I knew I'd finally found someone who understood what i…

  • How to Sext Without Looking Like an Idiot

    There are a few things in life that everyone over the age 16 should be able to do: cook a few decent meals, navigate a new city without Google Maps, enjoy a hangover, and send a decent sext. As Benjamin Franklin once said: “In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and…

  • This Man Thinks He Never Has to Eat Again

    You know what's an complete waste of time, money, and effort? Eating. I mean, wouldn't you rather just ingest a tasteless form of sustenance for the rest of your life and never have to go through that tedious rigmarole of opening and eating a premade sandwich or feasting on a pil…

  • Ke$ha's Autobiography: You Forgot the Ghost Penises

    My main gripe with Ke$ha’s book—aside from a minor $pelling i$$ue—is that while her songs are all about partying and her "wild" lifestyle, her book is pretty boring. And it’s not like the girl doesn’t have some fun anecdotes to share. I am devastated, for instance, that she makes…