Ron Hemphill

  • Hey Ron! Should I Dress to Impress?

    I never dress to impress anyone. At the end of the day, my character should speak for itself. I’m not wearing an Armani or Hickey Freeman suit. I’m out here to represent Ron, not a tailor. If someone wants me to get dressed up for a party, that’s a...

  • Hey Ron! Is Bald Beautiful?

    I don’t know if I could date a bald-headed woman, because people might think we’re twins or something. I do know we’d save a lot of money on shampoos and trips to the salon. That’s a car payment right there.

  • Hey Ron! Will the Flu Kill Me?

    You should avoid the subways. There are people that sneeze on the train and I just want to smack them. I’ve seen people pick their nose and then grab the rail. I look at them like, “Really?” And they say, “Sorry.” But they aren’t sorry for what they...

  • Hey Ron! Should I Marry a Manslut?

    I fell in love with a guy three years back when I saw a shirtless pic of him on my girl’s phone. Since then, he's had his way with most of my girlfriends. But none of them understand him like I do. Am I making a mistake trying to turn this man into a...

  • Hey Ron! with a Vengeance

    Yippie ki-yay, VICE readers! Ron is back. Our office soothsayer has finally returned after a long and ragged journey filled with tribulations, advice giving, and redemption.

  • Hey Ron! - Why Is My Mother Mad That She Caught Me Having Sex?

    I’ve been caught having sex before. And I’m sure my daughter has probably gotten down in my house. But I would be go crazy if I ever actually caught her bumping uglies under my roof. I know it sounds weird, but it's all about respect.