COCAETHYLENE

By WILLIAM NIGH

In these tough economic times, it’s best to tighten your belt whenever possible: clip coupons, cut back on food, sleep on the streets while you sublet your room for a profit. Also, try to keep your metabolism working for you, especially when it comes to substance abuse. Booze and drugs are expensive, but it’s not like you’re going to go without! That’s why we were psyched to learn about a three for the price of one sale that happens in your tummy every time you drink and do blow. The fire sale item is called cocathylene and boy oh boy is it ever bad for you. Have fun Friday night!

By WILLIAM NIGH 2 years ago

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