CHUNKLET TO GO GO
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Metal's Lost Survivalist Endeavors of the 1990s - Volume 1: Helloween
It's common knowledge that several forms of metal weathered a serious beating at the hands of 90s alt-rock, with hair-metal forced into a well-deserved dirt-nap. The adaptive gestures executed by many of these bands constitutes a collective phenomenon I like to call "Metal’s Survivalist Endeavors of the 1990s." FIrst up, Helloween. Full story
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Vinyl and Ebay: A Fascinating Relationship (Volume Two)
At some point last year, an acquaintance made me aware of RecordFlipper, a blog that aims to serve as an investment tip sheet for the release and future release of hyperlimited vinyl titles. I decided to interview one of the main flippers about it. Full story
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Best Musical Questions for the 21st Century—Kim Fowley Interviews Chris Darrow
In this revelatory meeting of the minds: two visionaries converge as Kim Fowley quizzes longtime friend Chris Darrow providing a music history lesson and questions galore that run the gamut from Facebook, drug use, alcohol, and fast food. Full story
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Bringing in the String Section with Mars' Mark Cunningham
Mars never made a bad album. In fact, during its fleeting, 36-month lifespan, the NYC no wave combo never made any kind of album. Full story
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The F***s to S***s Ratio
Two give-a-shits strains the threshold of tolerability. Beyond two shits is technically mental illness. That’s where you care so much about what you’re doing, you can’t even handle being a human being. This is where you kick somebody’s teeth in for talking during your set when yo… Full story
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The Secret Sin of Mark Driscoll
Here are the tracks which Mark Driscoll has been allowing to seep into his gel-soaked, faux-hawked-like-a-third-grader, hair, then down into his hard, NASA hard, skull. Full story
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Straight White Guys, Just Stop It
How about this, if you had to sing the song you're thinking of covering in front of a group of non-white people would you feel comfortable, or uncomfortable? Full story
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Problematic Lyrics Within Ten Pop Songs
Let us not forget that the junior high boys from ten years ago, the ones who commented at Suicide Girls forums and had a kind of sour smell to them, they, too, had a hard time swallowing Bright Eyes lyrics. Full story
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Rocking Your Jock: The Wide World of Sports and Where It Has Intersected With Music
When it comes to pro sports, money doesn’t just “talk” anymore. It $hreds. It also yodel$, jam$, drops phat ba$$ and of course, $pit$ mad flow. Full story
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Defending Reggae to White People Who Don’t Like Reggae
To not like reggae based on the five unassailable tenets of Reggae No Thank You is to do the world a disservice. And you've done that enough, Whitey. Full story
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The Theory of Rock Entropy
Let’s say for the sake of still taking, that the Theory of Rock Entropy is something you’d be interested in hearing about. In this case, possible questions you’d have include "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Full story
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Dawn of the Dusk
Interpol says they got a picture of a one year old child in a roasting pan like a piglet. Had an apple in his mouth and everything. Full story
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Vinyl and Ebay: A Fascinating Relationship
Ok, so why did you open and handle the record with your big, fluid-gorged sausage fingers? Why can I see the record in your picture? Because you needed to check the color? Check this color, hoss (helps to visualize an extended middle digit right now). Full story
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Every Critic’s Dream
Do you have a DJ night? You should have a DJ night. I would go to your DJ night just to hear all of the songs that you think are good because I bet I would think they’re good too. I would either dance to the songs or quietly and reverently listen to them. Full story
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Ignorance Is Bliss
We could instead be… I don’t know, fucking? Yeah, that doesn’t take any knowledge of anything. Let’s all just fuck and pick our butts like a bunch of gross hairy beasts and stop pretending to be so smart, you guys. Full story
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Monoshock Reissue Kills Time Dead
It’s a free country, and there’s no sweeter freedom than spending a little cash to almost not like something even though it’s the kind of thing you think is great. Full story
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History of the Rock Grunt
Hey: how about when you're listening to rock music and the singer, instead of singing words, just lets out a real primal grunt? Isn't that the best? Yes, it is the best. What follows is a historical tour through some of Rock's Great Grunts. Full story
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Steve Miller's Account of Intercepting a Box of Records Addressed to His Son
Fan Fiction based on inner dialogues of hilarious generational dissonance: legendary classic rock guitarist Steve Miller’s first-person account. Full story
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Bringing in the String Section with Michael Gira
Michael Gira is not known for making tepid, lightweight albums. Swans exudes a superhuman intensity. Even the band's recent reunion has transcended expectations. Full story
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Recalibrating Your Opinions so the World Doesn’t Bother You
Sometimes, thanks to the internet, it’s “fuk u idiot” instead of “LA LA LA LA LA,” but the idea is roughly the same. People dislike hearing things they don’t instantly agree with. Full story
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The Wheel of Punk Part Two
The good news about The Wheel of Punk™ is we don’t have to decide who is more punk. We can just say “however punk you think The Ramones are, the Sex Pistols are equally punk and vice versa, only the Sex Pistols are on the ‘artier’ side of the circle and the Ramones are on the ‘du… Full story
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The Wheel of Punk
This is what we've needed all along, a surefire way to determine what's punk, and what's more punk. Use codeword: BANANAS in the comments section for an added sense of intellectual superiority. Full story
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The Sad Cult of H.I.M.
It's all Bam's fault. Full story
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AIDS? You Can Get Grunge From That
It’s airtight. AIDS caused grunge. Full story
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I Broke Even Buying Records
I’m the Ray fucking Allen of sandwich wrappers that are metaphors for records over here. Full story
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Attention Crybabies
“I’m this thing, not THAT thing.” ET CETERA. Full story
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Regular Human Beings
We just buy CDs at Target and play them in the car. Full story
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Co-MVPs of Time Wasting
Baseball’s Rick Ankiel and GNOD. Full story
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How the Internet Works
The internet is great. It’s like getting a tattoo of everything you or anybody else has ever said. Full story
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Cracking the Code of Rock Record Write-Ups
Those blurbs record store clerks write on albums are bullshit. Full story
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VICE News: Venezuelan Body Count
Last year alone, Caracas had more violent deaths than Baghdad.
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Fresh Off the Boat: Back in Taiwan
Eddie gets into face paint, screaming lessons, and furry pink pillows.
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VICE News: Beasts of Burden
Investigating illicit animal-fighting rings in Kabul.
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Far Out: Agafia's Taiga Life
Agafia is the last surviving Lykov, remaining steadfast in her seclusion.
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Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers: Meet the ATL Twins - Part 1
They share the same bed, wear matching outfits, and sleep with the same girls.
The Mare
A New Story by Mary Gaitskill 
Toppling a Delicate World
Being Gay and South Asian In America 
There's No Sex in Prison Showers
We Usually Wore Our Underwear 
Try Not to Destroy Your Life
The First Time I Took Molly 
A Teacher and Her Student
Marilynne Robinson on Staying Out of Trouble 
"Whitey" Isn't Very Popular in Boston
Interviews with Some of His Old Friends 
