PROLATE SPHEROID PREVIEW
-
What I Want from the NFL in 2013
First of all, I want football to continue to happen and not cease to exist because the world has been swept by disease/war/starvation/robots and we no longer care about frivolous things like what large men do with an oddly shaped ball. Then I want Tim Tebow to be happy. Full story
-
The NFL Is Terrible This Week
A whopping 13 games this week feature either two miserable teams flailing at each other like a bitter married couple going through the motions during an argument, or a really good squad that’s already secured a place in the playoffs and a toxic, tumor-ridden failure of a franchis… Full story
-
The Ennui of Raiders-Chiefs
"Will we remember this game any more or less than another when we are taking stock of our lives in our twilight years? Or is true meaning found in pursuits distant from the field: raising children, loving a wife, helping our neighbors in times of need? Ah, well, another day…”… Full story
-
RGIII Is Number I in Our Hearts
The Redskins quarterback is something to feel good about in football, finally—it’s fun to watch a star bring a franchise back into the public eye, it’s fun to see an offense utilize an individual’s talents that effectively, and it’s fun to see a set of quirky formations triumph… Full story
-
Being Alex Smith Sucks
Football is a depressing sport, whether you're the Kansas City Chiefs, the lamely-named San Diego Chargers, Aaron Rodger's mustache, or Alex Smith, who lost his job just when everything was coming up Milhouse for him. Sad faces all around. Full story
-
Shut Up and Give Thanks for Football
In our weekly picks, we give thanks for rap songs about the Broncos, Chad Henne highlight reels, .gifs, old beer ads, and Pogs. We do not give thanks for the Cowboys. Full story
-
J! E! T! S! Mess Mess Mess!
I love it when Tim Tebow's teammates tell the media that he's terrible. I love it when Rex Ryan's wife makes foot fetish videos. I love the dysfunction and the abject failure and Mark Sanchez's terrible love life. Go Jets! Full story
-
Offensive Lineman Dreams
Why would you want to be an offensive lineman? Who still wears Zubaz? Do people have sex with dolphins? What happens when a kicker has to poop? Does anything good happen at two in the morning? We answer these questions and pick NFL games. Full story
-
Keep It Simple, Stupid Football Guys
In our weekly NFL picks column, we predict the outcome of the games, as well as the presidential election, and Tim Tebow's political career. We also discover a song about the Tennessee Titans and talk about the evolution, or devolution, of NFL offenses. Full story
-
The Children Are Our Future… Quarterbacks
Are we going to give preschoolers with promising hand-eye coordination specially-designed steroids so that one day they can earn millions while trying to decapitate each other for our entertainment? Will we grow quarterbacks in vats and assign them numbers instead of names so we Full story
-
There Aren’t Any Good NFL Teams This Year
“How about parity in the NFL?” a man says to another man as they sit on a park bench and watch the traffic in the distance. “Yes, parity,” the second man says. How can he put the love he feels for his friend into words? He can't. So he talks instead about how every team in the AF… Full story
-
Hot Young Stud Quarterbacks
Now that there are a bunch of young guns who can play quarterback well, there’ll be a lot more exciting ball throwing happening. Which is good. Ignore the purists who bitch about change—remember when football was just 22 guys punching each other in the mud? Full story
-
Why Aren't There Football Coaching Grad School Programs?
Coaches learn their extremely difficult, demanding, horrifically time-consuming jobs as they go along, picking up knowledge as they work. Why don’t NFL coaches just go to grad school to study football? Full story
-
Is It OK to Watch Young Men Get Paralyzed on Live TV?
I’m not going to stop watching football, but how do you excuse watching something as obviously evil as the NFL? Is it like eating processed meat or buying shoes made with slave labor—do you just not think about it? I guess that’s what you do. Shit. Full story
-
The Best Teams Are Always Changing
The bad teams constantly turning over personnel, trying to find a few dozen guys to peak and stay in one piece at the same time. The good ones stay the same over seasons, and the great ones are in a state of constant flux, to the point where the Patriots are always making deep ru… Full story
-
Let’s Just Turn the Refs into Lasers
By 2030, I want the games to be officiated by motion sensors and nanobots. And the cheerleaders should be replaced by 3-D holographic .gifs that summarize the most important news stories of the day. And the players will mostly be lizards. Anyway, on to picking games. Full story
-
The Giant Insane People of the NFL Are Back, Finally
Professional football is played at speeds too fast for the viewer to follow what is happening. The games are too long and the stop-and-start action is constantly interrupted by homophobic, misogynistic beer ads. The rules are bizarre. And the game destroys the lives of too many p… Full story
-
VICE News: Triple Hate
A documentary about Nathan Bedford Forrest, the Memphis City Council, the Klan, and the Crips.
-
Motherboard: Click, Print, Gun: The Inside Story of the 3D-Printed Gun Movement
Let us take you on a video tour of the 3D-printed gun world.
-
Fresh Off the Boat: Back in Taiwan
Eddie gets into face paint, screaming lessons, and furry pink pillows.
-
VICE News: BC Bud
Visiting grow ops and the RCMP to chat about weed and weed production.
-
Speaking with Adam Kokesh, Before He Was Detained by the Feds
The first in a series of controversies surrounding Adam's politics.
-
VICE on HBO Extended: Tobaccoland
Thomas Morton gets a full smoke-therapy treatment in Malang.
-
In Search of Tim Dog, the Rapper Turned Con Artist Who Probably Faked His Own Death
Why is there a warrant out for a dead man?
-
George's Fun Happy Place
George has a lot of problems to overcome, but he's capable of an incredible lightness.
-
Ryan Florig Blends Skate Photography with Guns, Weed, and Fire
This Washington-based photographer thrives on the principles of street photography.
-
Taji's Mahal: Jade's Roll
For this week's Mahal, in honor of the recent warm weather in New York City, I bring you Jade Katzenellenbogen's photographs of even warmer people.
-
My Friend Is Wearing Abercrombie & Fitch for an Entire Year
I like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch. I can't help it; it's like Stockholm Syndrome.
-
VICE on HBO Extended: Kicking Heroin with an Ibogaine Ceremony
Many swear it's the most effective way to kick heroin addiction.
-
Running Wild in Russia
Russian MMA is showing up in the most peculiar places.
-
Fringes: Deportee Purgatory
Tijuana’s El Bordo is home to thousands of heroin-addicted Mexican deportees.
-
Come Watch Good Movies for Once with VICE and the Film Foundation
We'll be screening restored prints of classic films monthly at the Nitehawk Cinema.
-
VICE News: Triple Hate
A doc about Nathan Bedford Forrest, the Memphis City Council, the Klan, and the Crips.
-
Is War Brewing in Niger?
If the latest terrorist attack is any indication, the answer might be yes.
-
The Creators Project: Turning CCTV Footage into Art
An invasion of privacy and erosion of our civil liberties can serve as a source for art.
-
Meet the Nieratkos: Jeff Grosso Has a Beautiful Mind
Is Jeff Grosso the last vestige of free speech in skateboarding?
-
Carlos Rafael and His Fish Are the American Dream
I spoke to him about cod and federal tax evasion.
-
Pen Pals: HardWhite and Harry Potter
Little white wizards get no play in county lockup.
-
This Week in Racism: Sergio Garcia Can't Wait to Serve Tiger Woods Fried Chicken
Golf is racist.
-
The Loneliness of the Village at the End of the World
Niaqornat's residents fight alcoholism and suicide as their village sinks into the Arctic.
-
Hamilton's Pharmacopeia: Tanks for the Memories
What happens to the mind, body, and spirit while inside the tank.
-
Deportee Purgatory
About 40 percent of Mexican immigrants deported from the US are sent back through Tijuana.
-
Fringes: The Warrior State
Mexican civilians who are taking justice into their own hands.
-
VICE on HBO Extended: Strolling the Thames in China
VICE correspondent Ryan Duffy takes a stroll through Thames Town in Songjiang, China.
-
VICE News: Triple Hate
A documentary about Nathan Bedford Forrest, the Memphis City Council, the Klan, and the Crips.
-
Pump It Up
Photos by Anna Ryon, styling by Lola Chatterton.
-
Get Rich or High Trying
The smart money is increasingly looking to marijuana as the nation's biggest new business.
-
Murderous Fanatics and EDL Idiots Brought Darkness to Woolwich, London Yesterday
We tried to make sense of it all.
-
A Few Impressions: 'Leviathan,' I Love You
It holds up a mirror to nature, but this mirror came from a fun house.
Deportee Purgatory
Welcome to Tijuana’s El Bordo 
'Leviathan,' I Love You
James Franco at the Movies 
Juggalos Are OK, Cupid
Don’t Be a Tumblr Asshole 
Get Rich or High Trying
The Coming Age of Corporate Cannabis 
Triple Hate - Part 1
The KKK vs. the Crips vs. Memphis City Council 
Rave and Hardcore YouTube Comments
They Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity 
