• Balloons!

    "Welcome to the 86th annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I'm Bob, this is my co-anchor Ralph, and for the next hour, we'll be talking you through the giant balloons as they make their way down Sixth Avenue, towards the flagship Macy's Herald Square."

  • Reality Quiz

    Greetings! In light of this week's election, your local GOP committee is sending out this quiz to gauge our party's commitment to reality. As a registered Republican, your input is crucial to determining future party direction. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers!

  • Yelping Halloween

    I took my kids trick or treating yesterday and the second stop on our route was the Hadley household. Right off the bat, they lose a star for giving out Life Savers. Is this a 6th grade secret santa grab bag? Run out of carob chips? The candy you serve speaks volumes about you as…

  • Public Statement by Jerry Sandusky on His Release from Prison, February 2454

    "First off, I'd like to offer my heartfelt appreciation for the miracle of cell-extension nanotechnology. Who knew it'd be so easy to add an extra thousand years to everyone's life? And I should acknowledge the US Supreme Court, for making sure everyone in prison had access to th…

  • Mock Blockers

    It has been announced that Obama is preparing for the upcoming debates with the help of John Kerry, while Ohio Senator Rob Portman is working on whipping Romney into shape. Let's have a look at how the candidates are doing in their practice rounds.

  • Strike Gripes

    We went to the front lines of the Chicago teachers strike and got the inside scoop on what's really going on. Turns out a lot of people are hungry for pizza and upset they're missing 'The Young and the Restless.'

  • iPhone 5 Drinking Games

    Provide beers or light cocktails. Watch Apple event on TV. Take one sip every time you hear the words "game-changing," "revolutionary," "visionary," or "power efficient."

  • Certain Goals

    The 'New York Times' has a new chief executive, and in addition to his fancy $1 million salary, he got a sign-on bonus worth $3 million if he meets goals made by the company. The Tea Party, stockholders, and Occupy, among others, have a few suggestions for what those goals should…

  • Fox and Fogs

    The future fogs of Fox News: "Earlier we reported that the GOP convention has been watched by two out of three Americans, moving millions of viewers to tears of joy. We may have confused this event with the 1983 series finale of 'M*A*S*H.' Blame the fog of television."

  • Mars Landing Talking Points

    "As we all know, the Curiosity rover arrives on Mars this Sunday. Several past Mars missions have generated unfortunate media sideshows over careless employee comments. This will NOT happen with Curiosity."

  • Mitt's Box Office Problem

    For starters, there's "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days." It takes place in a boarding school called Cram Brook. At one point, the villain—the wealthy son of the governor of a large, hand-shaped state—pins down a gay classmate and performs what is known as a Cleveland Stea...