• Taking a Step Back

    A football player committed a murder-suicide on Saturday, and folks seem to be forgetting about his girl. In less serious but still depressing news, David Stern fined a coach a lot of money and the NHL still isn't happening. Man, this sucks.

  • Even That Jerky Fireman Has Quit Cheering for the Jets

    The Patriots killed the Jets, a sprinkler system delayed a football game, and Justin Bieber played at halftime during the championship game of the Canadian Football League. Hockey continued to not happen, and there's sad news about the head of the MLBPA and boxer Hector "Macho" C…

  • Canadian Man Delivers Whupping to Non-Canadian

    Georges St. Pierre won, the Marlins gutted their team again, and there are now 14 teams in the Big Ten. Also, college basketball began while the NHL continues to not begin. Sports? Sports. Again.

  • The Lakers' Long National Nightmare Is Over

    This week in sports, Michael Vick got concussed, some NASCAR dudes got in a fight, and the Lakers hired Mike D'Antoni. Oh yeah, and the Knicks are good, while the Jets continue to be terrible and a football game ended in a tie, neither of which are things that happen very often.

  • The Day the Running Stopped

    This past week in sports saw the New York Marathon appropriately cancelled in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, the NBA regular season kicked off, baseball free agency started and some important college football games.

  • The Giants Won Everything

    The Giants win baseball, a college kid's leg loses football, and the Steelers' uniforms lose fashion. A bunch of other stuff happened in sports this week (though hockey did not happen) and we break it down here.

  • It's Not Other Teams That Win, It's the Yankees That Lose

    It’s almost Halloween! Do you know athletes dress up in stupid kiddy costumes on Halloween? Yep, they wear these jerseys. You ever seen an adult in them things? Super sad. Anyways, here’s every single thing that happened in sports last week.

  • Reason for the Season

    Hockey is still DOA, baseball postseason is a-rolling, the Nets played inside a casino and it wasn't on TV, Deron Williams allegedly wears a wig, and some NFL guy is a pillhead.

  • Talkin' Bout Playoffs

    In this week in ball news, the Knicks get even older, baseball playoffs get played, a dude resigns from a lifetime contract, and Drew Brees breaks a record no one cares about.

  • The Less Crappy Referees Are Back

    What happened last week in sports? The fake football referees really blew it, so the real referees returned. Some baseball teams made the playoffs, and a hockey player got real emotional on Twitter.

  • Scabbarhea

    Replacement referees continue lousing everything up, a baseball dude recuses himself from the batting title, no NHL, and Detlef Schrempf likes country music.

  • Sorry Ma, Forgot to Trash the Replacement Refs

    The NFL's replacement refs are worse than ever, a bunch of hockey players are joining a children's hockey league, Jeremy Lin hates spending money, and the Dodgers re-up their GM.

  • Thank You NFL for Saving Our Sundays

    Football has started, and football football football. Also, Chipper Jones gets a gift, some Duke basketball guy is in court for having too much awesome jewelry, and there might not be hockey this season.

  • Saturday Night, No Cover

    The NFL finally gets underway on Wednesday, college football is back in earnest, the Red Sox have had a rough 162 games, no more hockey, and other ball business.

  • Lance Angeles

    What happened last week in sports? A lot of stuff, but the real question is whether Lance Armstrong still shaves his legs, or if they were smooth to begin with.

  • Kicking and Screening

    Soccer is back, football is boring, hockey is staring a labor dispute in the eye, and some baseball player who was busted for testosterone made a fake website so everyone would think that the banned substance he took was some sort of supplement he ordered by accident.

  • Fortune Favors the Bolt

    Women's soccer overtakes the Olympics and almost gets ruined by referee-beef, terrible preseason football ruins Twitter, Stephen Strasburg's innings ruins mid-Atlantic baseball, and more from this past week in sports. Plus, Dwight Howard is traded and athletes continue being bori…

  • Statue of Limitations

    Joe Paterno's statue was taken down, Jeremy Lin busted out of New York, and some baseball dude has a fake name.

  • Free Agents of Destruction

    If it involves a ball, puck, or respected state university covering up a horrible pedophile's transgressions, it's in this post.

  • Dickey on Fire

    R.A. Dickey has the fastest knuckleball in baseball history and will be ruining the lives of hitters until they're eventually replaced with robots.

  • God Hates Beds

    This week God spoke to former NFL player Kevin Ellison and told him to torch his bed with a blunt.

  • Boxing Is Sooooooo Fixed

    Here’s everything important that happened in every sport last week, even the boring ones. If it’s not in here, it’s unathletic.

  • The Clippers Are So Dumb

    Here’s everything important that happened in every sport last week. If it’s not in here, it’s unathletic.

  • Goldwater Hates Hockey

    The Goldwater Institute is ball-blocking the Phoenix Coyotes.

  • Josh Beckett Is Still a Dick

    If it's not in this column it doesn't have to do with balls.