Don't

This is the thing going to kickstart the romantic phase of our relationship, the sad, deluded boy lies to himself as he zips up his mouse costume. I’ve sunk $200 into these. There’s no way I’m not getting a return on my investment.

Don't

Maybe it’s due to the sitcoms we’re raised on, but a lot of heterosexual relationships seem to function as a series of exchanges in which the man says something medium stupid and the woman is barely politely disapproving. I hope her boyfriend is ready for an evening of heavy sighs an...