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      The first thing I did when I won the creative solutions contract at Global Alliance of Progressive Pedophilia was pass around this photo. According to market research, today’s 12-year-old boy is 67% less likely to get in a truck with a classic model rapist (fat, pork-butter troglodyte) than the cast of Mortal Kombat. In just one business day I tripled predator-productivity... No biggie.

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