Tech

Mac Guy Finally Bends the Knee in Humiliating Show of Fealty to PC

For years PC people suffered under the cruel hipster tyranny of Apple, but now the Mac Guy is one of us.
Mac Guy about to bend the Knee
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For years, we heard how uncool the PC was. “Get a Mac'' Justin Long said, with his stylish haircut and fancy jeans. He addressed us from a white void, the brutally slick embodiment of a Mac. John Hodgeman, bloated and dressed in an ill-fitting brown suit, stood next to him, the embodiment of the uncool PC. Now, Long is bending the knee in a new series of ads for Intel. The Mac Guy has seen reason and become a PC guy.

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The Mac Guy ads ran from 2006 to 2009 at a time when the iPod was dominant and as the  iPhone was emerging as best smartphone on the market. Mac Guy’s smug countenance taunted the PC user, making them feel stuffy and weird. God forbid you want to game on the Mac.

Now cultural tables have turned now. In the ad, Long stands in his familiar white void and opens with a modified version of his famous catchphrase. “Hello, I’m a … Justin. Just a real person doing a comparison between Mac and PC.” He then walks out of the void and to a table containing a wealth of multicolored PC laptops sitting next to the dully and gray MacBooks.

In my opinion, PCs are now unquestionably cooler than Macs. Macs are hard to repair and have shitty keyboards. PCs come with RGB lights and run video games at high frame rates. For the right amount of cash you can even get a custom designed system that uses Belle Delphine’s bathwater to cool the graphics card. The only customization Mac offers is wheels that cost $699.

Of course, Justin changing teams means nothing other than someone thought that it would make for a good commercial and was able to pay him enough to make it happen. As Verizon's "can you hear me now" guy proved when he jumped ship to Sprint, these spokespeople have no loyalty.