I Will Review Frozen Food No More Forever
As Amy's Kitchen served me and my coworkers lunch, I looked around the room and realized something: I can go nowhere from here. This will be my final frozen food column for VICE.
The focus of my review column this week is frozen lasagnas. For some reason frozen lasagna is almost always good or great. On occasion it is underwhelming, but I'm yet to be deeply disappointed by a frozen lasagna.
My editors set out to humiliate me and make me physically ill by ordering me to go to an ice cream truck in Brooklyn and eat everything. I ended up face down in a gutter with sprinkles and ice cream allover my face and clothes.
DM me if you want to go see this movie with me. I think I can watch it like two or three more times.
I've been eating frozen chicken nuggets for this review column, and the gurgling heartburn I've experienced is excruciating.
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