Nocturnal Submissions

Batman with a Wistful Boner

I take Western from it’s uppermost point at Los Feliz down to Melrose then back up to Santa Monica going west to La Brea up to Sunset and back to Western where I start over. I see a girl over by the do-it-yourself car wash and I make a U-turn and ask her if she wants to take a ride. Full story

True Chubbo Presents - Dinner

Hey bitch, where's my dinner? Open Up! Full story

Tubesteak

How to Make Friends and Influence Homos (Into Sleeping with You)

Like any good homosexual with an iPhone and a propensity for indiscretion, I spend plenty of time on Grindr, the app that shows you other gay dudes in your immediate vicinity who are also looking for dick. That said, familiarity breeds contempt, and there are a whole host of thin… Full story

Orgasm Addict - GG Allin’s Stained Prison Walls

According to his jailhouse diary, GG Allin jerked off almost 100 times during his first 30 days in prison. It was 1989, and the outlaw scumfuck was behind bars for assaulting a groupie. The first-ever collection of diaries, letters, and (most disturbingly) drawings from GG's time… Full story

Nocturnal Submissions

Another Dumpy Motel Room

1988. I’m alone in the night, driving slowly, when a whore materializes from a thick puff of fog. I brake and flip on my wipers and park the Camaro under a streetlamp. The whore appears at my passenger-side door and fumbles with the handle. I unlock it from my side, she jumps in… Full story

Skinema

Obedience School

Have you ever tried to mop up the floodwaters of a squirter? FEMA and the Red Cross combined would be ill-equipped to handle the task; there just aren’t enough sandbags on earth to hold back those tides. Hurricane Sandy’s aftermath was nothing compared with a female ejaculator… Full story

The Meth-Fueled, Weeklong Orgies Ravaging London's Gay Sex-Party Scene

Weeklong, unprotected "slamming parties" fueled by intravenous doses of crystal methamphetamine are an increasing feature of London's gay sex-party scene. They are known to a small but rapidly expanding section of London's gay community. They are covertly organized over social ne… Full story

Breast Cancer Survivors Find the Michelangelo of Nipple Tattoos

For all of medicine’s advances, the best option for areola reconstruction after surgery is tattooing. And in the field of cosmetic tattooing, Vinnie Myers’ trompe-l’oeil “areola portraits,” as he calls them, are widely regarded as the best that money can buy. Full story

Grace Bellavue’s Sex Tour Diary - Week 1

One of the better parts of my job, apart from getting paid shitloads of money to have threesomes, is touring. Basically touring is the same as sucking dick for cash in my home state, but I get to sample genitals all over the country. Full story

Comics

Shoplifting at Vicky's

Sneak peek, sale today. Buy three get one free. Full story

VICE Shorts

I'm Short, Not Stupid Presents: 'Cunning Stunts'

Jeff Scher has been making films for over 30 years and utilizes a rich animation style that disarms and charms you with its frenetic movement and visual beauty—it’s like blinking as quickly as you can until your brain starts to buzz. Full story

VICE Australia is 10

Gays or Girls?

Men have simple sexual needs. They want to cum. That's about it. Full story

Tips for Celebrating International Masturbation Month

Let's not be so private about what we do in our private time. We need to be reminded that masturbation is both a privilege, and a right. I've put together some ideas for how you can celebrate self-love for the rest of this month. Full story

Nick Gazin's Comic Book Love-In #88

Hello. Every week or so I use this column as a space to discuss and review comics, fine art, illustration, and general nerd interest in the e-pages of VICE magazine. This is the second week in a row that my column has been about art shows. Next week we'll go back to reviews about… Full story