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I Went to a Support Group for British Alien Abductees

“The Queen isn’t a lizard—it’s not that simple.”

Various objects that had supposedly been in the presence of extraterrestrials

Last Saturday a bunch of alien abductees, Infowars subscribers, and new age knitwear enthusiasts assembled in a room in Hastings, England. They were there for a conference organized by the Anomalous Mind Management Abductee Contactee Helpline—the UK’s first support group for people who believe they’ve made contact with extraterrestrials—in hopes of pulling back the curtain on the galaxy’s darkest secrets. I've been wanting to have my worldview shattered for a while now, so I decided to join them for the day.

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The first speaker, a former actor named Mark Windows, opened by saying, “There’s not that much difference between media people and complete retards.” After that shrewd observation he launched into a tirade about the significance of the Rh-negative blood type to aliens, the childishness of the Big Bang Theory, and something about the Swiss being a highly trained secret army.

Things didn’t get any more lucid as the day went on. One after another, speakers took the stage to share the disparate results of their own personal research. Several attendees had their take on the theories of revered crackpot David Icke. “The Queen isn’t a lizard—it’s not that simple,” said one speaker. Others explained the concept of “dowsing” for extraterrestrial activity, which works in much the same way as dowsing for water, only you point your sticks at stuff that’s supposedly been in the presence of aliens rather than dry ground that might be hiding a reservoir.

No one seemed to mind that the stories they heard completely contradicted one another. In fact, as the day progressed it became clear that the crowd was just buzzing to be in the company of like-minded individuals. For that reason I abandoned any plans of making sense of the conference and, instead, got chatting to some of the attendees.

Hilary Porter and her partner, Kenneth John Parsons, run the British Earth and Aerial Mysteries society (BEAM). Kenneth had a message implanted into his mind by aliens and was brought back to Earth to spread the word. Hilary has had encounters with a turtle-like being and a figure she calls the Dark-Clad.

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VICE: Why do you think aliens find this planet so interesting?
Kenneth John Parsons: We’ve got information that they’re doing a genetic program. They’re taking eggs and skin and all that.
Hilary Porter: They’re making hybrids because there’s a problem with their species.
Kenneth: This is their chosen planet. Astronomers say that there’s likely to be planets similar to ours out there, but I think we’re probably the most advanced.

What message would you like to send to the aliens?
Hilary: Just, “Hi,” really. I don’t think they mean us any harm.
Kenneth: I’ve heard that we were planted here by aliens and all religion is a lie. All the biblical stuff was just their way of communicating with us in the only way they could. They don’t want to hurt us, just check up on us.

Attendees gather around a pair of trousers known to be involved in a UFO encounter.

Do you think science-fiction films ever get it right?
Kenneth: Certain people are privy to knowledge, like Steven Spielberg. Also, a lot of these films are military-backed, so they give us little glimpses of information to prepare us for the day they do the big reveal.

Are you into science fiction?
Kenneth: 2001: A Space Odyssey was very predictive, with space shuttles and that sort of thing.
Hilary: I like Taken.
Kenneth: Avatar was good.

What do you think of Labor Party leader Ed Miliband?
Kenneth: Well, there’s a government above the main government who are pulling the strings. The right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing, like Reservoir Dogs.
Hilary: I’d be surprised if Ed Milliband knew about aliens.

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Colin Woolford works as ground staff for British Airways. He has never had an alien encounter but has been investigating the subject for 25 years.

What's your take on extraterrestrial life?
Colin Woodford: I subscribe to the ancient-astronaut theory. I think we are their ancestors and they’re coming back to trace their bloodline, perhaps to check on their experiment.

What would you say if they were to come back?
They should know that there are people here who do care about what’s going on with the planet, and who want to make peaceful contact. I don’t think the people who rule the planet have our best interests at heart.

Like the damage that's being done to the environment? What would you do about that?
I think we should have progressed beyond cars by now. I don’t believe that we still need petrol vehicles. In a lot of my reading I’ve found free energy is being supressed. If there are ETs, I think global warming is something they must be concerned about. It would be quite comforting to know that there was someone looking after us, because I don’t think we’re capable of looking after the planet.

This man asked to go by the pseudonym Yousef Latif because of the dangerous nature of his occult studies. Yousef believes a new type of hybrid being is going to hijack human consciousness and take over the planet.

What makes you think aliens want to take over Earth?
Yousef Latif: The djinn, who are one type of extraterrestrial being [that appear frequently in Islamic and pre-Islamic Arabian mythology], live for thousands of years in a dimension that isn’t particularly attractive. They don’t have much scope for breaking the boredom. Being in a human body is quite comfortable—it’s a nice place to be.

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How do you identify a djinn?
Well, there are many different levels of djinn, and they’re shapeshifters, so they can impersonate dead humans, grays, UFOs—anything. You never know who you’re dealing with, so I can’t really say.

An attendee dowsing a pair of trousers known to be involved in a UFO encounter (the results were negative).

What do you think the link is between fictional depictions of aliens and the reality?
We get a very false picture of what things are really like. This is partly deliberate misinformation and partly because people don’t fully understand that there’s another dimension populated by billions of beings.

Are you into science fiction?
My interest in the occult came from studying Aladdin. I wanted to know if there was such a thing as a djinn. Once I found that there was I discovered links into a lot of other stuff as well.

What are your views on the conflict in the Middle East?
The ruling families in the Middle East know what the djinn are about; that’s for sure. And the conflict is certainly related to this. In the Qu'ran it says the djinn were here long before humanity. The mujahideens' wages are being paid for by one of the crown princes of Saudi Arabia, who has now left the country and lives in Russia. It all ties in.

Gaz Bruce, Ian Gunner, and "Scary Pete" have a radio show called The Asylumon Stafford FM, during which they discuss unexplained phenomenon. The gang have all seen UFOs near their Staffordshire homes. Gaz, however, remains somewhat skeptical. He’s also remarkably quiet for a radio show host.

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What do you think aliens like about Staffordshire?
Scary Pete: From the research we’ve done, it seems the place was a hotbed of activity during the mid 80s. A Freedom of Information request revealed our government was talking to the US about the testing of spy aircraft without permission, which could have something to do with it.
Ian Gunner: I dread to think what they’re up to.
Pete: A great deal, I’d imagine.

How close do you think science-fiction films are to the truth?
Ian: I remember when I was about 15 I went to a UFO group and asked the speaker if Hollywood know more than they let on. Are they drip-feeding us information?
Pete: I think it’s just observation and deduction. If we were going to go to another planetary body and there was life on that body, what would be the most logical thing to do? Camp out on one of the moons and pop down when you need to so you don’t interfere with the life but can study it.

What do you think of the current state of the media?
Gaz: Well, they report what they think is sensational. It’s not about news as much as it’s about money.
Ian: And power.
Pete: And control.

Nigel Hughes making a presentation on "GILFs"

Nigel Hughes is an ex-pilot, though he wouldn’t tell me whom he flew for. He came to the conference as part of a biolocation team that has confirmed the existence of what they call “galactic intelligent life forms,” or GILFs. They made this discovery using a technique called dowsing, which involves magnetic fields, holograms, and what looked like a collection of unravelled coat hangers. Why do you think aliens find Earth so interesting?
Nigel Hughes: These creatures can travel to many planets, so I don’t think Earth is that interesting. Obviously we’re an important resource, but to them we are just ants. If you want to empty a pond you don’t consult the frogs.

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What message would you like to send to the aliens?
Oh, I wouldn’t even try. It’s too dangerous. We evaluate GILFs as being high-risk. They want us kept in the dark, so they wouldn’t take kindly to being spoken to.

Do you think there's an overlap between science fiction and real alien encounters?
No one in fiction is describing the technology we’ve seen. This is a unique discovery.

Are you into science fiction?
Oh yes, big time. I’m a bit out of touch with it now, but in university I loved Arthur C. Clarke, Huxley, H. G. Wells—all the old classics. None of them predicted the internet, did they? And no writers have predicted anything like the GILFs.

A slide from Nigel's presentation depicting a "P GILF"

I can imagine that a lot of the stuff I heard at the conference would elicit anger and derision, especially when the conversation turned to controversial figures like serial killer Levi Bellfield (framed) or tragic events like the Sandy Hook shooting (staged). But these people come in peace. No one was trying to hawk aluminium helmets or holistic crystal enemas. They were there because they held a passionate belief in something they felt was important.

As the hall emptied I shared a cigarette with abductee Mike Smith, who didn’t want to be photographed. It was from him that I got my first and final insightful statement of the day: “If I’m wrong in what I’m saying—and I might be wrong—at least I know I’m not lying.”

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