Question Of The Day: What Else Should Australia Stop Making?

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It’s been a rough twelve months for the Australian car industry. It started last May when Ford announced it would close up Australian operations in 2016. Holden vowed to limp on until they threw in the towel last month, and now most recently, Toyota too has given itself a 2017 deadline. So it’s happened. By the end of the decade Australia won’t have an auto industry and if you want to make a living building cars, you’ll have to leave. It’s a sad day for manufacturing and a sad day for Australia, sort of, because we still make plenty of other things that will probably someday be deemed impractical or unviable to produce. Things that would be better off being made in China but we’re clinging on to them for sentimentality and jobs. So while we’re scrapping the auto industry, maybe we should ask ourselves what next. What else should Australia stop making?

Holly and Will from London, UK

VICE: Hey guys, what else do you think Australia should stop making?
Holly: Cherry Ripes. They don’t taste like chocolate on the outside and they don’t taste like cherries on the inside. They don’t even seem ripe so I don’t get the point.

Will: Yeah, they’re just sort of under-ripe. It’s a bad brand and it’s doing damage.

Well, let’s say you guys were sitting on the couch, not eating Cherry Ripes. What do you like to watch? How are we at making entertainment?
Will: Well, the thing is that I arrived yesterday and I was looking in the gossip column and I didn’t know anyone. Anyone.

Holly: Not since Kylie really. And we sent Danni back.

So should we just give up on show business?
Will: Yeah you’re just not effective enough. If your actors won’t make it outside the coastal limits of Australia, what’s the point? Oh and I’ll tell you what else you should get rid of, and this is serious. I was on the train yesterday and I saw this guy with one of your sun hats, those ones with a string that you can just casually tip back. You know, I’ve seen a few around and they’re not good. If you’re going to rock a hat, it needs to be more substantial than a floppy cotton napkin. Get rid of them.

Gabriel and Jack. Drinking Coffee. Melbourne.

Jack: We should stop producing rice because it’s far to cheaper to import it from countries that are more easily inclined to grow it. I grew up in the hills around Nimbin and they grew rice there. It was just a waste of space.

Gabriel: We should stop selling fake food. Anything full of chemicals and GMO crap.

I see you’re smoking cigarettes and they’re full of chemicals. Should we stop selling cigarettes?
They totally should but I’ll continue smoking until I can’t get them. And when I can’t get them, I’ll smoke weed.

Of course. So do either of you make anything valuable?
Jack: I make music, it’s not valuable though. Not unless you’ve got people contributing to you and making money off you. Not if you’re just playing for beers. Most music comes from overseas and we don’t make much good stuff here.

So should we stop trying?
Oh god no. It’s not valuable but why do you need everything to have a value? Stop selling money, that’s what I say.

Louise. Makes Aprons. Melbourne.

Our main exports are wheat, coal, iron ore and meat. Which one should we stop producing?
I think we should stop selling coal overseas. We need it here. Elements within the earth are all disappearing so why get rid of them? I’m not worried about global warming, I’m just worried about what we’ll do when we’ve run out of our own resources.

So what about iron ore? We shouldn’t sell that either?
No we should sell that. Iron won’t keep us warm.

Yeah but we use it to build everything.
That’s a good point. But for me, coal is different because come the end it’s something we’ll need to produce electricity and stay warm. How we live today isn’t how we’ll live in fifty years’ time. We’ll need things like coal.

Okay well, you make aprons for a living. Are aprons something we’ll need come the end?
Absolutely not. But they save us getting our clothes dirty and needing washing detergent. And they come in lots of colours and they make me happy. You can’t argue with that.

Amanda from Sweden

What else should Australian stop making?
Probably meat, I suppose. It’s a vicious product and it takes a lot of other resources.

So you’re a vegetarian?
Yes, so I’m biased. It’s true.

Should we stop selling meat if it puts people out of work?
I don’t care. The equation needs to be done in another way to make it work in the long term.

So that butcher’s shop across the road, you don’t care about them?
No, but it’s not my responsibility that he sells meat. He needs to decide to stop selling meat for himself. But once he has, it would be good if he made something useful. Maybe he could get a farm and sell vegetables. People need to make things for the future.

Butcher from Smith Street Butchers

Hi butcher, should Australia stop selling meat?
No, we need meat. Without meat what do you have?

Vegetables.
For dinner? No, where’s the meat?

Well you don’t eat meat. That’s the whole point.
No. You need meat.

Okay well, are there any Australian celebrities you don’t like? Maybe we could turn them into meat?
Not Russell Crowe. He’s good.

Anyone else?
No. I don’t know.

Thanks butcher.

Follow Julian on Twitter: @MorgansJulian