Every Celebrity Needs a Chola Makeover
May 18 2012
Marx was wrong or just not detailed enough about a lot of shit, but he did pretty much prove that changing economic demographics will eventually shift the balance of power. Seeing as I always apply this approach to fashion, it was always obvious to me that Tumblr would to make huge waves, and lo and behold: This week saw Karl Lagerfeld's Tumblr collection for Chanel.
Other internet fashion revelations this week include the Apple Computers' employees-only clothing line, which dates back to 1986, baseball cap reviews written by Spike Lee back in 1990 for Spin magazine, invisible shoes, a golden hand that is a bag, and a website dedicated to Photoshop-induced chola makeovers for famous people.
THE APPLE COLLECTION
1986 was a low year for Apple. The company had just fired Steve Jobs and was hemorrhaging money from a slew of failed products. So what did the genius bigwigs do to help boost morale? They released The Apple Collection, a line of clothes—and, weirdly, a sailboard—that their employees could buy for themselves, their friends or their children. The collection boasted collaborations with North Face and Patagonia and contained a rugby shirt that makes you "rambunctious" as soon as you put it on, which sounds kinda dangerous in an office environment. Some of it was pretty wearable. I expect Tumblr kids to completely blow their shit for the full-print Apple nightclub shorts.
HAND THAT'S A BAG
Ines Figaredo makes out-of-this-world accessories. There's a shiny skull tote that manages to surpass lameness by coming with a full set of enameled human teeth, a platform shoe with studs that would make Jeffrey Campbell go green with envy, and a gold-plated hand with movable fingers, that's also a bag—a hand bag. Uhhh.
A SPIKE LEE JOINT
The words "film" and "director" are pretty much synonymous with wearing a baseball cap, beards, and glasses in a really, really bad way. Except in the case of Spike Lee. Which is probably why he wrote a two page review of his favorite caps for an issue of Spin magazine that he guest-edited in 1990. My personal favorite is for an LA Kings hat: "Made popular by NWA; very few African-Americans like hockey, so you know it's something else..."
Elena Slivnyak and Ilan Rueben, the designers behind San Francisco based label Ilanio, put on awesome shows. Previous outings featured bubble dresses, and their latest included monochrome giant eyeball helmets. They use materials like aluminum, polyurethane, acrylic, vinyl, wire, and surgical tubing. But it's the mind-blowing acrylic and vinyl "invisible shoes" I really can't get out of my head, they are possibly the closest thing a human or the magic circle will ever get to levitation.
Cholas don't get enough love from the fashion world, IMO. There aren't many subcultures dedicated to a look that results in getting multiple, ridiculous facial tattoos. I mean, imagine if you would have gotten some Dashboard Confessional lyrics tattooed to your face during your secret emo stage—I'd still think you were a total pussy, but at least there would be a whisper of some dedication-balls wrapped in all that black hair dye and Myspace posturing. Cholafied is a blog where celebrities get, err, cholafied and has finally brought me round to the idea that Lana Del Ray can look sorta hot sometimes, which is worrying, considering she needs tattooed eyebrows, obnoxious lip-liner, and razor sharp fingernails to get a rise out of me.
CHANEL RESORT TO TUMBLR
When I first read DIS Magazine's tweet about Chanel doing a tumblr theme for their Resort show, I feared an embarrassing GeoCities-era graphics fest. But, wedge sneakers and combats aside, it was actually pretty subtle. The hair and the candy floss-colored clothes were just so. Karl used lots of shimmery metallic fabrics, actual IRL seashells, and scallop shell shapes. Plus, the Palace of Versailles setting provided just the sort of fountains and rococo architecture backdrops you'd use for fantastical fashion visions on Tumblr. Nice work Karl.