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The Tp For Your Bunghole Issue

What Wa$ It All About?

The Occupy Wall Street protests in Zuccotti Park are more of a long-term affair than initially planned. Weeks passed, crowds came and went, signs were waved, rested, repainted, then rewaved.

The Occupy Wall Street protests in Zuccotti Park are more of a long-term affair than initially planned. Weeks passed, crowds came and went, signs were waved, rested, repainted, then rewaved. Chants were chanted before dissolving into general hubbub, then new chants rose up and echoed through the canyons of America’s financial mecca.

In an attempt to trace the evolution of the ongoing uprising, we here at VICE dug through the stinky trash and discovered a much-waved sign. Then, using super-toxic paint thinners that burned our brain cells to smithereens, we carefully and painstakingly removed each layer of protest, one at a time, revealing the messages underneath. By doing so, we thought that perhaps we would learn where it all began, where it ended, and how it got to wherever it was meant to be… and have fewer brain cells!

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The first message, concealed under layers of paint and vitriol, was a simple expression of frustration at the corporate and bank bailouts of recent years.

Note the use of the dollar sign in place of the letter s! Very clever! It’s also the only element that stayed consistent throughout the many layers.

Carbon dating told us that on the third day of the protest someone painted over everything with this extremely generalized “attack.”

According to forensic science, the previous message was only on display for a few hours before it was seized by the super-specific hipster influx of the second weekend, which resulted in this.

As the days dragged on, frustration mounted, made clear by the sign’s next iteration.

Around this time the NYPD began to burst at the seams, eliciting this hastily scrawled penmanship disaster.

After a flurry of anger and rage, exhaustion set in, inspiring this plaintive display of reason.

And finally, any pretense to a higher calling was abandoned and the profit motive overtook even our valiant front line.