Articles by David Roth
-
The Mercy Rule
Hearing the Spurs
As I age, my ear is retuning itself; I can finally hear something other than “ugh” watching the San Antonio Spurs play, which is cool, except how it parallels suddenly finding a 'Rod Stewart Sings the Standards' record soulful and great. Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
Leave Derrick Rose Alone
Derrick Rose, who won an MVP award in 2011 then wrecked his ACL and has been out for a year, has spent the last week getting kicked around by tough-guy sportswriters outraged that he's not back on the floor in his Chicago Bulls' series against the Miami Heat. He refuses to engage… Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
The Last Kings of Sacramento
On Monday, the Maloofs will find out which of two potential buyers will pay them for the privilege of taking over the Kings, one of the NBA's worst franchises. So let's say goodbye, finally, to this family of avaricious, spray-tanned ghouls. Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
Why Sports Help
There is nothing out there on the internet, nothing useful to learn about the Boston bombings, only more of the guilty inertia that leads us to put this shit on in the background in the first place. There’s nothing here for us, at the moment. So I’m going to a baseball game tonig… Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
Building a Better NFL Draft
The NFL Draft takes three days and involves some of the dumber shout-machines on American television applying the same five adjectives to various muscular men over and over. It is very bad. But it can be better, if only because it can't be worse. Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
Horrible Bosses
Rutgers men's basketball coach Mike Rice abused his players. He called them nasty names, hit them, threw balls at their heads, and was a generally awful human being. Now he's fired, and for good reason, but that he was more or less allowed to do these things to teenagers is part Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
The Little Gulfy That Could
If there's a reason to cheer for FGCU—beyond the fact that they're fun as hell to watch—it's for the way they refuse and defuse and otherwise dunk right in the face of all that familiar college hoops sanctimony, simply by being the goofy, grimy Florida-ass thing that they are… Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
Bill Walton, the Tallest Troll
During his time in the announcer's booth, Bill Walton has demonstrated both a deep understanding of basketball and a sharp, sometimes vicious, sense of sarcasm. The worse the basketball gets, the better Walton gets at projecting his disdain for it. Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
Meet the Satire Called the Mets
Mets fans are not notably smarter or dumber, more or less entitled, or even sadder than the fans of any other flailing team. But thanks to their owners, the Wilpon family, the team's narrative is less a standard Shitty Owner Ruins Team story and more like a strange, sprawling sat… Full story
-
The Mercy Rule
Neon Waters Run Deep
adidas's new college basketball uniforms are just a dumb thing to look at and crack some jokes about. But the only compensation the athletes wearing them get is the enjoyment of the enhanced comfort provided by the breakthrough wicking polymers. Full story
Daytona Beach, 1999
Photos by Eli Reed 
Bomb Blast Bajaur
Is Life Really Back to Normal in Khar? 
BC Bud
Meeting Some Growers Out West 
The Imaginary Republic of Molossia
Nevada's Sovereign Micronation 
Fuck Him and His Library
George W. Bush Was the Worst 
Cry-Baby of the Week
Uh Oh, Someone Downloaded Cartoon Porn 
