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      Ellis Jones

      Ellis Jones

      Managing Editor

      By Ellis Jones Dec 27, 2012

      Hawaiian Monk Seals!

      Like many sea-dwelling mammals, Hawaiian monk seals are finding it nearly impossible to live in and around an ocean that has been raped, pillaged, polluted, and generally used as a landfill-cum-toilet by humanity since the halcyon days of the Industrial R…

      By Ellis Jones Dec 27, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Nov 16, 2012

      Syrian Hamsters

      These furry bags of joy love desert climates and stuffing as much food into their cheek pouches as possible—in fact, their Arabic name roughly translates as "Mr. Saddlebags." Not joking.

      By Ellis Jones Nov 16, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Oct 31, 2012

      Wiener Dog Races!

      In August, Montreal held its fifth annual wiener-dog race day. Prizes were awarded for the fastest runner, best costume, and bobbing for wieners—that's like bobbing for apples but with dogs and cocktail wieners, and it's as amazing as it sounds.

      By Ellis Jones Oct 31, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Sep 27, 2012

      Lee Fields Has a New Music Video Y’all!

      You should just watch the video yourself, but here's a breakdown of what it contains: super hot girls slithering around in black leotards, dark red lighting, booze, Lee in a sparkling white jacket, a piano, and lots of emotions/heartache/crying. It's grea…

      By Ellis Jones Sep 27, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Sep 14, 2012

      Kuppy-Cats!

      The room went silent as the scientist slowly opened the cage door and gently removed a two-week-old specimen of his own invention, plainly stating, "Behold the final frontier of cute: the kuppy-cat."

      By Ellis Jones Sep 14, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Aug 17, 2012

      Dog Circus

      Japan is home to the Super Wan Wan Dog Circus in Tsukuba City. For more than 50 years, owner Hiroaki Uchida has been rescuing abandoned dogs and training them to perform an assortment of tricks, including balancing on huge plastic balls and walking in a c…

      By Ellis Jones Aug 17, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Feb 14, 2012

      Dog Grooming Expo

      Whoooooo! What a relief. You've finally made it to the Cute Show Page! Release the heavy burden and sad vibes the rest of this issue has heaped upon you and just R-E-L-A-X

      By Ellis Jones Feb 14, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Jan 16, 2012

      Baby Wombat Orphans

      We asked our associate editor Harry what he thought about wombats, and he said, "An ugly animal--like a bat but dumber." Then we whipped out this photo and he was paralyzed in an alternating

      By Ellis Jones Jan 16, 2012
      By Ellis Jones Nov 6, 2011

      Red Squirrel Orphans

      You know how squirrels stand all hunched over a nut, tightly grasping it with their tiny claws and then shoving it into their mouths so their cheeks get all puffed? Everyone loves that.

      By Ellis Jones Nov 6, 2011
      By Ellis Jones Nov 3, 2011

      Back to Back to the Future

      Irina Werning's original photo series "BACK TO THE FUTURE" went viral earlier this year, and why shouldn't it? Who else had the brilliant idea of recreating strangers' childhood photos?

      By Ellis Jones Nov 3, 2011
      By Ellis Jones Sep 8, 2011

      I’m Empty Inside

      Recently I had one of those vomit sessions that burst blood vessels and permanently stained my toilet bowl. I awoke at 5 PM hanging halfway off the bed, dizzy and fuzzy-tongued from a late-night champagne binge.

      By Ellis Jones Sep 8, 2011