WIDE WORLD OF BALLS
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Taking a Step Back
A football player committed a murder-suicide on Saturday, and folks seem to be forgetting about his girl. In less serious but still depressing news, David Stern fined a coach a lot of money and the NHL still isn't happening. Man, this sucks. Full story
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Even That Jerky Fireman Has Quit Cheering for the Jets
The Patriots killed the Jets, a sprinkler system delayed a football game, and Justin Bieber played at halftime during the championship game of the Canadian Football League. Hockey continued to not happen, and there's sad news about the head of the MLBPA and boxer Hector "Macho" C… Full story
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Canadian Man Delivers Whupping to Non-Canadian
Georges St. Pierre won, the Marlins gutted their team again, and there are now 14 teams in the Big Ten. Also, college basketball began while the NHL continues to not begin. Sports? Sports. Again. Full story
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The Lakers' Long National Nightmare Is Over
This week in sports, Michael Vick got concussed, some NASCAR dudes got in a fight, and the Lakers hired Mike D'Antoni. Oh yeah, and the Knicks are good, while the Jets continue to be terrible and a football game ended in a tie, neither of which are things that happen very often. Full story
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The Day the Running Stopped
This past week in sports saw the New York Marathon appropriately cancelled in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, the NBA regular season kicked off, baseball free agency started and some important college football games. Full story
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Reason for the Season
Hockey is still DOA, baseball postseason is a-rolling, the Nets played inside a casino and it wasn't on TV, Deron Williams allegedly wears a wig, and some NFL guy is a pillhead. Full story
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Talkin' Bout Playoffs
In this week in ball news, the Knicks get even older, baseball playoffs get played, a dude resigns from a lifetime contract, and Drew Brees breaks a record no one cares about. Full story
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The Less Crappy Referees Are Back
What happened last week in sports? The fake football referees really blew it, so the real referees returned. Some baseball teams made the playoffs, and a hockey player got real emotional on Twitter. Full story
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Sorry Ma, Forgot to Trash the Replacement Refs
The NFL's replacement refs are worse than ever, a bunch of hockey players are joining a children's hockey league, Jeremy Lin hates spending money, and the Dodgers re-up their GM. Full story
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Thank You NFL for Saving Our Sundays
Football has started, and football football football. Also, Chipper Jones gets a gift, some Duke basketball guy is in court for having too much awesome jewelry, and there might not be hockey this season. Full story
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Saturday Night, No Cover
The NFL finally gets underway on Wednesday, college football is back in earnest, the Red Sox have had a rough 162 games, no more hockey, and other ball business. Full story
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Wide World of Balls - Lance Angeles
What happened last week in sports? A lot of stuff, but the real question is whether Lance Armstrong still shaves his legs, or if they were smooth to begin with. Full story
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Wide World of Balls - Kicking and Screening
Soccer is back, football is boring, hockey is staring a labor dispute in the eye, and some baseball player who was busted for testosterone made a fake website so everyone would think that the banned substance he took was some sort of supplement he ordered by accident. Full story
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Wide World of Balls - Fortune Favors the Bolt
Women's soccer overtakes the Olympics and almost gets ruined by referee-beef, terrible preseason football ruins Twitter, Stephen Strasburg's innings ruins mid-Atlantic baseball, and more from this past week in sports. Plus, Dwight Howard is traded and athletes continue being bori… Full story
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Wide World of Balls - Statue of Limitations
Joe Paterno's statue was taken down, Jeremy Lin busted out of New York, and some baseball dude has a fake name. Full story
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Wide World of Balls - Dickey on Fire
R.A. Dickey has the fastest knuckleball in baseball history and will be ruining the lives of hitters until they're eventually replaced with robots. Full story
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Wide World of Balls - God Hates Beds
This week God spoke to former NFL player Kevin Ellison and told him to torch his bed with a blunt. Full story
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Wide World of Balls: Boxing Is Sooooooo Fixed
Here’s everything important that happened in every sport last week, even the boring ones. If it’s not in here, it’s unathletic. Full story
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The Wide World of Balls - the Clippers Are So Dumb
Here’s everything important that happened in every sport last week. If it’s not in here, it’s unathletic. Full story
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Wide World of Balls - Goldwater Hates Hockey
The Goldwater Institute is ball-blocking the Phoenix Coyotes. Full story
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The Wide World of Balls - May 14, 2012
If it's not in this column it doesn't have to do with balls. Full story
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Meet the Malaysian Neo-Nazis Fighting for a Pure Malay Race
They realise that Nazis generally don't like Asian people, but apparently that doesn't matter.
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VICE News: In Saddam's Shadow
A tour of a city that used to be covered nonstop by the American media.
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Hamilton's Pharmacopeia: Tanks for the Memories
What happens to the mind, body, and spirit while inside the tank.
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VICE News: This Is What Winning Looks Like
A documentary about the ineptitude and corruption of the Afghan security forces.
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Question of the Day: Asking New Yorkers: "How Would You Feel if Your Mayor Smoked Crack?"
"I would be surprised."
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I Went Snooping Around Nicolas Cage's House
And it was kind of upsetting.
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Noel Rodo-Vankeulen's Photography Is from Another Dimension
It appears that some of these shots were taken on the moon.
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Thought and Memory
Back in 2008, when my first novel came out, my publisher sent me on a West Coast tour.
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The Strongest Dwarf in New Jersey
I beat him up as a toddler.
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Rob Ford Might Be a Crack Smoker
What's the big deal? Everyone finds themselves in this position once in a while.
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Jodorowski's 'Dune' Would Have Been More Insane Than You Can Even Imagine
Salvador Dali was going to play the Emperor.
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My Week with Hungary's Far-Right
Hungarian nationalists throw beer at people and blame Jews and gypsies for all their problems.
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The Worst Restaurant in the World
A night at the Jack in the Box of the Damned
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Tao Lin's iPhone Photos of Taipei: Taipei Signs
Tao shows us some of his favorite signs around Taipei.
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VICE News: Triple Hate - Part 1
'Triple Hate' is a four-part documentar
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Enbridge and Alberta Are Getting Lambasted
It’s been a rough couple weeks for the Tar Sands.
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Here Comes the White-Power Safety Patrol
The White Student Union advocates for “persons of European heritage”—aka “white people.”
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Did I Discover YelaWolf?
This. CD. It looked like… I really can’t even explain the levels of wrong this thing was.
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Did a Murderer Just Give Himself Away on Yelp?
It seems like he might have done.
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I'm Hunting Down the Fat Fetishist Who Has My Stolen Laptop
He likes big ladies and lives in a maisonette.
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Why Laval Sucks
It's much more than just a gangster ex-mayor.
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Toronto Is Forgetting its Other Problems
We've been laughing at Rob Ford so much we forgot that Toronto has some real problems.
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Oxford Has Put Death Metal, Mesopotamians, and Noh Theater Together at Last
It's a play entitled Ashurbanipal: 'The
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Las Vegas Needs to Get Creative with Its Homeless Problem
Here are some ideas.
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Art Talk: Matt Mignanelli
A chat about his work, life, and strong American work ethic.
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The Mercy Rule: Hearing the Spurs
They're not too boring; you're too young.
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Pigeon Racing Is a Dying Sport in Canada
We hung out with one of Toronto's finest pigeon racers to find out why anyone would want to pigeon race.
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Suck on the Monolith
Ken Baumann's first novel is, in short, fucked.
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VICE News: This Is What Winning Looks Like
A documentary about the ineptitude and corruption of the Afghan security forces.
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A Few Impressions: 'Gatsby'
In the end, Luhrmann made it work, and that’s all that matters.
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Why Don’t Dudes Like My Crotchless Panties?
Crotchless panties make me hornier than a nude Jake Johnson offering me a burrito.
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The Cute Show: Capybara Bathhouse!
We met a herd of capybara who love to take dips in the park's hot springs.
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Austerity's Drug of Choice
Greece's infamous new drug, sisa, is meth mixed with filler ingredients like battery acid.
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VICE News: Teenage Riot - São Paulo
The fight for a free pass on public transportation in São Paulo is not only for students anymore.
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VICE News: Triple Hate - Trailer
A doc about Nathan Bedford Forrest, the Memphis City Council, the Klan, and the Crips.
Daytona Beach, 1999
Photos by Eli Reed 
Bomb Blast Bajaur
Is Life Really Back to Normal in Khar? 
BC Bud
Meeting Some Growers Out West 
The Imaginary Republic of Molossia
Nevada's Sovereign Micronation 
Fuck Him and His Library
George W. Bush Was the Worst 
Cry-Baby of the Week
Uh Oh, Someone Downloaded Cartoon Porn 
