Volume 11 Issue 5

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  • Belt Party Tonight

    The South isn't sleeping. Not the one I know. This South is drinking shitty bourbon by the handle, doing lines, and showing off the purple and yellow bruises striping its ass and back.

  • Dos & Don'ts

    Hey, lesbians, why you gotta hate? We're not all bad.

  • Tidbits

    Guitarist Matt Sweeney is a stallion, and stallions roam free.

  • Hamster Party Throwdown

    In the interest of putting an end to drinking contests forever (they kill 10s of people a year, you know) we decided to stage the ultimate throwdown of all fucking time.

  • 2c-t-fy-dic.head

    Dear Human Toilet, Taking lots of drugs doesn't have to turn you into a drooling idiot.

  • Captain Bring Down Says...

    In fact, parties* are terrible things. Horrific piles of nonsense full of lost souls wandering around looking desperately for someone drunk or lonely enough to throw their decorum to the wind and engage in something heart-crippling in a toilet or...