We Asked the Nicest People We Know About Their Sex Lives

This article originally appeared on VICE UK

Your nan was right all along. The notion that "nice guys and girls finish first" has now been borne out in two recent scientific studies on selflessness and sex. Basically, nice people have better sex lives.

Researchers at two Canadian universities uncovered that people who self-identify as altruistic, and those who unknowingly demonstrate their altruism through a willingness to donate to charity, also reported having more sexual partners in their lifetime, having more sex while in relationships, and having more casual sex than the rest of us selfish losers.

But why? It's hard to tell what's hot about someone just because they mentioned giving blood or sponsoring a goat at some point. "Previous studies have shown that humans prefer kind and altruistic mates—particularly for long-term mating," Dr. Steven Arnocky, a Nipissing University professor and lead researcher on this particular study, told VICE. "The reason seems to be rooted in the fact that humans have evolved to engage in long-term pair-bonding and bi-parental care of dependent offspring. Ancestors who happened to prefer qualities in a partner that signaled a willingness and ability to invest in their partners and offspring would have been at a distinct reproductive advantage."

You're thus theoretically more likely to get laid if you demonstrate that you're the sort of person who'll stick around and look after your partner and/or future children. Rather than just take science's word for it, we made some of our writers call up the nicest person they know for a chat about that person's sex life. You be the judge.

Ryan and Jack were friends in sixth grade, lost touch a bit during college, and reconnected later. Ryan's always doing stupidly nice things like running through mud to raise money for charity or helping to build schools in South Africa.

Doesn't everybody have a sexual bucket list of things they want to do? I've not done badly, but I've still got a little way to go on mine.

My personal number is four girls. I've done things other than sex with different people—second or third base and whatever—but four is the number of people I've gone "the whole way" with. Being like any guy, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a higher number. Four is a lot lower than some of my friends, not that we sit around in a circle and talk about it, but it's something I'm aware of.

My sex life has definitely stepped up since I got into my twenties and moved to London. That's around the time I first started using Tinder more seriously, which isn't a coincidence. I used to think dating apps were a bit of a joke or just a way to boost my self-confidence, but they're a really easy way to meet girls. So far I've used it for a couple of one-night stands and a recurring thing, but I can't see that going any further. I've also had plenty of dates that led to nothing.

I'm kind of satisfied with how things are going at the moment, but I'd prefer to be in a proper relationship. With my last long-term girlfriend we'd have sex about twice a week and it was always good. Now that I'm single it doesn't happen as often! Right now I'd probably rate my sex life as a five or six out of ten.

Salma met Jess on the first day of uni, where they bonded over a hatred of sexual double standards. Jess used to buy Salma's dinner when she was broke.

I wouldn't say I'm 100 percent satisfied with my sex life at the moment—I don't fancy my boyfriend as much as I did when we were first going out. I did consider finishing it but we do get on and think it would be hard to find someone that I connect with.

I definitely think I slept around more at university. I suppose my overall memory of uni was being at a social and realizing that I'd basically got with most of my flatmate's friends. Even now I can't quite believe I pulled solid nines—my friends said that I always get with the hot ones.

As I've got older, getting with random guys and waking up next to one no longer appeals as much. I wonder if that's because I got a lot of stick for it. And now that there's stuff like Snapchat, I don't want any photos of me floating around! That said, I always look back on those days and half-wish I had the confidence to be that girl again. It's funny because although I do a lot of charity work and volunteering, I'm probably the most selfish lover anyone's ever had. I'm really good at getting myself off so if a guy doesn't meet my standards, he doesn't make the cut. If I had to summarize my sex life, right now I'd probably say unsatisfied.

Tom's an old school friend of Hussein's, and for as long as they've known each other, Tom's been involved in charity work for his church. While Tom trains to become a lawyer, he spends his free time tutoring kids and working in a food bank.

I don't really have a lot of sex, because of work, and because I live with my parents. They're strict Christians so obviously it would be awkward to bring someone home.

I've been sexually "active" since I was 12. That didn't translate into having lots of girlfriends or anything—I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19, so up to then my sex life was really just internet porn. There were opportunities to have drunken sex with girls at parties, but I didn't really want to do that. Something about casual sex at the time just made me uncomfortable, which might be why I waited for so long.

When I did finally have sex, it was a bit underwhelming, like I'd hyped it so much. It definitely did get more enjoyable over time. During good times we'd be having sex up to ten times a week—really passionate and exciting sex that would last hours. In the end though, we were having sex just for the sake of it.

Since uni I've maybe slept with two people? I met both on Tinder, during a time when I was pretty lonely and just horny. It was actually really fun and chilled out, though. I'm still not into casual sex much, but I'm less averse to it. I do hope I can meet someone really amazing and get into a long-term relationship again. Though sex itself is fun, I personally find it more enjoyable when you have a real personal connection with the person you're doing it with."

Sophia and Francisco met through mutual friends two years ago, and he was instantly drawn to her weirdly serene kindness. Francisco is also fairly certain that he wouldn't be with his current girlfriend without Sophia's wise counsel and reassurances.

I've had sex with eight people, and sexual encounters with two more people. The basic breakdown is: two relationships; two one-night stands with friends; one party encounter; one drunken mistake; three "things" where I fell too hard and broke my heart in different ways while we had on off sex for months; and one guy who I had casual friendly sex with on national holidays—Halloween, New Years, and Easter, don't ask why.

My first relationship lasted about six months. We had a lot of sex in the beginning and that was great. I kept getting cystitis though, which wasn't. It was less great at the end, obviously, and less nice when cystitis made me want to die.

I'm almost at the six-month mark with my current boyfriend and it's the best sex I've ever had. It's fun and it's hot and I'm into him like crazy. I probably see him about three times a week, and we'd generally have sex at least twice every time we see each other. He's a babe, utterly lovely, and incredibly "nice," which helps.

These experiences all made me more confident, but also more uncertain, particularly around the time I graduated. It meant wanting to be around people more and to have the thrill of getting drunk and making out. I fall hard and quick for people, as I've said, and that's a recipe for heartbreak.

Tshepo met Emily when they were teenagers, and quickly realized that what seemed like a sort of incessant cheeriness was genuine kindness. Emily is the most generous person Tshepo has probably ever known, besides Tshepo's own mum (who obviously wouldn't talk to her about sex for this story).

I was about 13 when I first started doing sexual stuff, generally with older boys—guys who were 18, 19. I honestly feel like I've been sexually "active" for a very long time. Not as in having sex from a very young age, but in my head. I can remember, when I was about five, feeling… knowing how to feel turned on. I remember that vividly and understanding, before doing anything, that it was going to be great. That probably influenced how much enjoyment I got out of sexual stuff later.

I had a fair amount of sexual partners, from the age of about 17 to 21, and I think I found that quite fulfilling. I was drawn to so many people by a sense of excitement, at some level. I think I just get really turned on, and get attracted to a way that another person looks at me, first. Then, in a way I can't quite describe, I just get the feeling that we'd have great sex. In terms of what's satisfying about that, it's almost the idea of having it, during it. Especially if it's completely immediate—we say, "you, let's go, now," which is purely instinctive. I've never had the whole "I want to rip his clothes off right now" thing, but I can get sexual stimulation from anything on the spectrum of interacting with someone. I wouldn't say I necessarily cum with everything, but there's this connection.

Now, I'm in a long-distance relationship but normally my boyfriend and I would have sex at least once a day. At least. We definitely Skype and FaceTime, in all kinds of ways now—which is really fun.

Follow Jack, Salma, Hussein, Francisco, and Tshepo on Twitter.