UPDATE: I am saddened to tell you right here right now, the round, calorie-ridden original pizza pocket as we knew and loved it is gone. In its place will sit a pale simulacra. An imposter of the highest order. People might try to tell you otherwise, "hey it's the same we swear." But where our beloved pocket was round, this "thing" is oval with some sort of faux-grill marks. There's now some kind of "Harvest" version full of healthy shit. It now comes in a two pack not a four pack. So there you have it, the whole, sad truth. I am just a messenger folks, I mourn alongside you. Here is McCain's statement to VICE, in full:
Despite false social media reports to the contrary, McCain has no intention of discontinuing Canadians' beloved Pizza Pockets. We know how much Canadians love our Pizza Pockets. In fact, in the coming days consumers will see Pizza Pockets in a whole new way. With a new look but the same recipe and great flavours Pizza Pockets are now part of an exciting new snacking line up that we're calling McCain Marché. Packed with wholesome ingredients and irresistible flavours, McCain Marché snacks are oven-baked, never fried, and come in a variety of choices to satisfy more tastes and cravings. In addition to Pizza Pockets, the McCain Marché line-up includes: Harvest Pockets—the perfect balance of mouth-watering flavours and wholesome ingredients in a delicious wholegrain or rosemary sourdough pocket, available in Roasted Chicken Club, Chicken and Broccoli and Three Cheese and Spinach recipes; and Protein Pop'ables—bite-sized snacks, delivering 14 to 23 grams of protein per serving, available in Chicken Parmesan, Jamaican Beef and Italian Sausage varieties.
We created the recipes for McCain Marché inspired by the flavours we know Canadians love. For nearly 60 years, McCain has proudly made some of Canadians' favourite foods and we're committed to continue introducing exciting new products, like McCain Marché, to meet changing needs and tastes.
As any journalist hot on one of the biggest stories of their career, I frantically started to dig deeper for more information. In a bid to get clarification from McCain Foods Canada I instead got a complicated run-around. Much like M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense I began to wonder if I was seeing dead people or if I was myself the dead people. In the initial call to the Toronto corporate office I was told McCain's hasn't been in the pizza game since 2014. Huh. You and I both know this simply isn't true. (They sold their pizza business to Dr. Oetker in 2014, but hung onto the Pizza Pockets for the time being.) Then I was directed to a corporate line that booted me to a generic voicemail service. Another call to corporate and I was told to call McCain's UK. As though the British could help me on this, the most Canadian of stories. I believe I can say with great confidence that the person I spoke to has likely never heard of a pizza pocket. I will update this story as soon as I hear from the company on the future status of said pockets. McCain's, I implore you, call me.To be discontinued by McCain in the Very near future. My kids will miss u! — Gene Coleman (@Gene_Coleman)August 23, 2016
An imposter pocket.