Stuff

Hey Everyone, There's a New AIDS!

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

0

The new issue of The New Yorker contains a big piece on something called "super gonorrhea". Super Gonorrhea differs from lame, outdated regular gonorrhea in that it's untreatable. From the article:

"After a second visit, doctors at the clinic gave her an injection of ceftriaxone, an antibiotic considered by infectious-disease experts to be the definitive treatment for gonorrhea. It didn’t work; two weeks later, when she returned to the clinic, a throat culture again tested positive. She was given another dose, but it, too, failed, and, at first, doctors assumed that she had been newly infected. Now, however, public-health experts view the Kyoto case as something far more alarming: the emergence of a strain of gonorrhea that is resistant to the last drug available against it, and the harbinger of a sexually transmitted global epidemic."

Eugh. Seriously The Almighty/nature/gods/Gaia/chaos/nothing/whoever is running shit? A new "sexually transmitted global epidemic"? Are you fucking kidding me? I guess God really does hate fags.

To paraphrase Paris Hilton, an estimated one in seven gay men in urban areas is HIV positive. As a result of this, I haven't had sex with anyone at any point in my life where a good portion of that experience hasn't been spent panicking about HIV. Every time I even look at another person's penis, I convince myself I've caught it. I get regular tests, but even then there's the three-month incubation period where it's undetectable. I basically spend my entire life freaking out about AIDS.
 
Blowjobs were the only thing I had left, and now I have to make people wear condoms to do that!? Yes, I know you could always get HIV from oral sex. But the mouth-to-peen infection rate for HIV+ oral is like, 1 in 20,000 or something. I can live with that stat. Sure, there's rimming, but that gives you all the usual STDs, and then a bunch of weird poop-parasites, too. No thanks.

And yes, I know super-gonorrhea attacks straight people too. And while it's nice that straights have something non-abortable to worry about during sex (equal rights, yay!) the article handily points this out:

"Saliva contains enzymes that destroy gonorrhea, so kissing and cunnilingus don’t spread it."

Get the fuck outta here. A disease that you fight by eating pussy? Congratulations, straight people. You fucking assholes.

I guess I'll just have to wait for these things to come out so I never have to ever touch another human being ever again.

Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT

More stuff to help you get that Friday feeling:

Can Everyone Please Stop Shitting Themselves

Conclusive Proof That There Is No God and Humans Are Essentially Evil

Would You Rather Finger Your Mum But No One Knows You Did, or Not Finger But Everyone Thinks You Did?

China's Tramp Petting Zoo

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete 7 months ago Tags: super gonorrhea, the new AIDS, STDs, STIs, sex, fucking, lame ass bullshit, way to kill the party science, get a medic for my balls
0

Comments

0