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I Went to the Launch Party for the Newest "Heritage Minute"

There are few things that capture the awkward, goofy, love for Canada more than the Historica Canada's Heritage M​inutes. I went to their latest launch party.


​On the surface, Canadian history is largely unexciting. We didn't overthrow the yoke of our colonial oppressors through armed revolution like our neighbours to the south. Rather we—in perhaps the most Canadian fashion possible—very politely requested that could-we-possibly-just-maybe have control over our government with our own constitution if-it's-not-too-much-to-ask (we'll totally still put the Queen on all our money though!) …Please? So it's no surprise that we have this weird anti-nationalism/nationalism thing going on in this country. Of course we love it and we're proud to say it, but not too loudly and not too obnoxiously like some other countries.

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There are few things that capture the awkward, goofy, love for Canada more than the Historica Canada's Heritage M​inutes. Anyone who watched Canadian TV in the 90s know that, yes, they were terribly scripted and acted, and yes they sometimes celebrated things that others might consider failures (like the "explorer" who ​wrongly thought he was in China), but gosh darn-it if we didn't all have some weird endearing soft spot for these moments of Canadiana. In some adolescent circles in the early 90s the catch phrase "Doctor…I smelled b​urnt toast!" was as ubiquitous among snarky kids as "Don't have a cow, man!" and how often have people rebutted a American blowhard with the self-conscious comeback: "A Canadian invented basketball… so there."

But what 90s nostalgia seekers and lovers of painfully earnest Canadiana may not know is that they're still making Heritage Minutes. In fact, Historica Canada, the organization behind the videos recently held a launch party in Ottawa for their latest. If the above has not already convinced you of the widespread love for these 60-second historical spots, the fact that the 300-plus p​erson event sold out very shortly after going viral should tell you something.

We were lucky enough to get access to what was cheekily touted as being the "Most Ottawa Party of All Time" by the

Ottawa Citizen

.



​The whole thing took place at Canadian War Mus​eum, a stern-looking glass and concrete compound. I was a bit disappointed as I was hoping it would be held somewhere super Canadian like a maple syrup shack, or in the back of a Roots store or something. But no, we celebrated Canada-ness in a futuristic alien bunker full of old tanks and military uniforms.



​Since the nation's capital is widely known as Canada's most boring city— a place overrun with civil servants where bylaw officers will chase after you if your fancy ginger ale looks too much like a beer bottle—the party was held promptly at 5:30 PM.

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I arrived with ten minutes to spare, half expecting to see a line-up out the door and a bouncer with red rope denying people entry unless they could name

Canada's first female doctor or the engineer/inventor who developed the system of international standard time. Instead, people were just sort of trickling into the main lobby and signing in at a registration table.

The décor seemed decidedly minimalist with not much of an effort made to warm up the cold, grey interior and make it more "Canadian." But that didn't matter, we were there to witness another chapter in the pantheon of Canadian historical videos—and of course to drink from the open bar. Truth be told once the booze began flowing, everyone was happily mingling and no one seemed to care they we're partying in what felt like a futuristic dystopian prison.




​Although no one told me outright to avoid double fisting my Peller Estates Cabernet Merlot from the Niagara Peninsula, shotgunning my assortment of Canadian beer, or standing at the kitchen door shouting, "dibs" on my preferred choice of tiny-snacks-on-sticks, I refrained. I, like most people, was there because I am Canadian, and was had a swelled up sense of national pride so strong, it could have only been whittled out of childhood memories made from television ads.

What Canadian party would be complete without an all-you-can-eat poutine station? Nothing says national pride more the delicious yet unholy alliance of French fries, gravy and cheese curds. Although there actually has been a debate on whether this truly represents Canada. So maybe they should have had a Beaver Tail station instead. Heck if they were good enough for Oba​ma

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​Much like poutine, the crowd was a mish mash of various flavours. There were guys dressed like the logrider in

this other​ classic Canadian video.

Some people, like 62-year-old Carole Brown, told me they were history buffs, excited by the idea of "jazzing up Canadian history."




​But, mostly, the crowd fell into the 24 to 35 range — millennials, passionate about nostalgia and reaaaally, reaaaally excited about 60-second videos about old Canadian things.​

"It's neat. They're kind of like those Hinterland Wh​o's Who commercials. They just used to play all the time when we were kids," 30-year-old Parks Canada employee Mandy Dewar told me, as she reached for a skewer of another Canadian classic: baked goat cheese and fig jam.

Before I knew it, it was approaching 6:20 and staff began herding the the crowd—now tipsy and full of cheese, fries and gravy—into the Barney Danson Theatre for what we'd all come there to see: the latest

Heritage Minute

. Some people stalled when they found out they couldn't bring their drinks inside with them. I understood the conundrum. I had assumed the organizers went with free alcohol to smooth over some of the ac​ting.

Once most people were in the theatre, Historica Canada president Anthony Wilson-Smith introduced the Minute-to-come, describing it as the story of a team of Icelandic-Canadians who served in the First World War before bringing home the very first gold medal in Olympic hockey. I won't get into the heartstring-tugging-ness of it all, you can just watch it below.

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Further raising the bar on this shindig's Canadian-metre, the English version (which followed the French version) was even narrated by Canada's beloved

MuchMusic

VJ-turned CBC talk show host, turned failed CNN talk show host, turned Hockey Night in Canada host, George Stroumboulopoulos.



​​Now, I've personally never watched one of these Minutes and wondered, "Man, I wish I could find out what goes on behind-the-scenes during the making of these things!" But if I had, I would have been delighted to watch the behind-the-scenes mini documentary they showed us about this Minute and an upcoming one about the heroism of two nurse sisters during World War One. SPOILER ALERT: All the actors are super honoured to be involved in the project.

I was surprised to see at least a dozen people sneak out before the panel discussion / Q&A with the University of Ottawa's Dr. Serge Durflinger, the War Museum's Dr. Nicholas Clarke, and hockey writer Roy MacGregor. After all, what is a party without three grey-haired men discussing the impending centennial of the First World War?


But that just left me with a better chance of winning a door prize—Heritage Minutes poster sets! They also announced that everyone would be getting a free Heritage Minutes DVD, which caused the audience to erupt in applause.

At 7:30, the affair began winding down, so I started trying to find an after party. Maybe the Royal Canadian Mint was celebrating the release of its new set of collectable toonies with a taco and margarita night, or something. But, alas, people were heading home to get a good night's rest before their 9 to 5s the next day.

Left tipsy and alone in zero degree weather, I made it home in time to watch the Maple Leafs trounce the Bruins and I felt a swell of patriotism. Later I quietly shed a tear for Frank 'Buster' Thorsteinson and George Cumbers, two of the guys from the latest Heritage Minute who never made it back from the War to see their team's Olympic victory. It was either that or the wine and poutine cramps making me cry.​