Not Every Mom Needs to be a MILF

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada

Everyone's favorite alcoholic smurf, Snooki, is back in the spotlight with a new "music" video about being a sexy, yung mommy. Having rebranded herself post Jersey Shore from an orange trainwreck to a slightly less bronzed lifestyle blogger, Snooki is the latest pop culture icon to capitalize on Motherhood ™.

While Snooki does manage to shout out stretch marks and saggy nipples in her video, keeping it somewhat "real," the song is a rally call to fit, fabulous, young mothers who breastfeed but still wear four inch pumps and leopard print bustiers. I had the same feeling watching this as I did when I saw Fergie's "M.I.L.F $" last month. Her first video since giving birth a couple of years ago, Ferg's new song is a very confusing ode to hot moms and features a bevy of supermodel mothers who I think are fucking the milk man. I have no idea what the song is about or what M.I.L.F. money is and why it's different from normal money.

But confusion about sexual milk aside (please someone tell me what a milkshake is in this context), what bothers me about both of these videos is the sell that all new moms now have to be MILFs.