I’m not Jewish, but I’m pretty sure that I was invited to one of the mitzvahs (bar / bat) when I was a kid. I didn’t go because I didn’t think that would be any fun at all. If I only I had known Daniel, though, I would have put on my Debbie Gibson Electric Youth perfume and headed to that celebration like I was a part of Jay-Z’s entourage in the “Roc Boys” video.My friend Alyssa sent me this video link and said, “Have you seen this?” Of course I hadn’t seen it or else this post would have happened much sooner. When I saw the title “Daniel’s Bar Mitzvah—SAVE THE DATE,” I imagined it being some little turd urging his friends at PS 15 (and everyone on YouTube) to attend his celebration of turning 13. I even had the dialogue set up in my head: “Hi. I’m Daniel Schlooterman, and if you’re anything like me, you’re a wild and crazy guy. So come toast 13 with me and my family at the American Legion on Sprout Street. Dress to impress.” Boy, was I wrong.
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