You’ll Soon Have 38 More Emojis to Use Instead of Actually Typing Words

Just when I thought we hit Peak Emoji, I was proven wrong. Unicode Consortium, the nonprofit corporation that standardizes emojis internationally, has released 38 more design concepts for their next version of the Unicode Standard. Some of these new characters could "change the emoji game" and save you from typing literally dozens of words.

But my main concern is: why the fuck do we need any more emojis?

We've already made use of the symbols for our every need, even the dirty ones. We humans have used our collective intellect to turn an innocent eggplant into a penis, and an equally pure peach into a butt. We have even pushed Instagram to ban the eggplant emoji hashtag to cleanse our pornographic minds.

Canada has collectively decided that the poop emoji is our most nationally used symbol. Clearly we don't need anything else.

Plus, these new emojis also come a little over a month after Unicode released the skin tone-varied emojis and gender-varied ones too. As of Unicode version 7.0, we have around 550 emojis to work with. Another 240 if you include flags. And of all those 790 emojis people still feel the need to request more.

According to the proposal, these new potential emojis come from "popular requests from online communities," and will be "filling the gaps in the existing set of Unicode emoji."

We took a look at all 38 to determine just what gaps we're filling with cute little cartoons.

Rolling on the floor laughing: Because acronyms like ROFL are so goddamn time-consuming, especially if you want to get creative and use something like ROFLCOPTER.

Drooling face: Instead of saying "that food looks good," or "that outfit is hot," or "I have a hypersalivation condition," just send a face with saliva dripping from the mouth.

Clown face: I'm still trying to think of when you would use this (other than to describe your latest sexy nightmare).

Nauseated face: This one could come in handy, I must admit. (See above)

Lying face: If you are in fact telling a lie, I would advise against using this. But then when the heck else would you use it?

Face with cowboy hat: More hats they said.

Call me hand: You're on a phone just call them yourself. Alternatively this could be used as an ironic 1987 throwback "hang low surfer dude" hand sign.

Selfie: You don't need this emoji. You also don't need to take a selfie.

Raised back of hand: Pimp-slapping is bad, and I'm pretty sure this emoji encourages it.

Left-facing fist: We couldn't survive with the fist facing in only one direction; fisting equality is important.

Handshake: How is this not a thing yet? We've got high-five and fist-bump but no good old fashioned handshake?

Hand with first and index finger crossed: Don't send this to anyone if you're lying either, obviously.

Pregnant woman: This addition just makes sense biologically. Otherwise, how were the emojis going to reproduce?

Face palm: I am face-palming IRL.

Shrug: The ASCII shrug "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" will never die!!!

Man dancing: What about a woman dancing? Oh right, women don't dance.

Prince: There are only two princes worth emojing and this is neither.

Man in tuxedo: Only acceptable if it is Tuxedo Mask.

Mother Christmas: Fighting sexism one emoji at a time—or is this Mary, Jesus's virgin mom?

Wilted flower: We will finally have a "can't get it up" emoji. You know who you are and it's OK, Tom.

Scooter: Scooters aren't cool and you shouldn't use them unless you're under the age of 12. Same goes for this emoji.

Motor scooter: I knew the transportation emojis were missing something: a taste of Euro.

Octagonal Sign: Because "stop" is four too many letters to type out.

Clinking glasses: When you can't make it to the party and the FOMO is real, you can cheers virtually. Or if you can't afford champagne.

Black heart: Emos need love too.

Croissant: "Hurry up with my damn croissant emoji."—Kanye West's original lyric from "I Am a God."

Avocado: For that moment, when you need to describe yourself as soft on the outside, but with a stone in the centre where your heart should be. I'm sorry, Tom, OK! I'm sorry!

Cucumber: Instagram should probably ban this one off the bat, I foresee this being the penis emoji 2.0.

Bacon: Just make sure this is nowhere near the already existing four pig emojis.

Potato: The people in online communities were demanding potatoes? PEI Potato Lobby gets action again.

Carrot: Now my boss has a digital carrot to put out there instead of giving me stupid assignments and winking.

Fox face: As if Tinder needed another way to tell me I look foxy.

Eagle: Good call. I actually noticed we had no predatory birds in the palette!

Duck: I guess we don't have any aquatic birds either.

Owl: How many birds to we need??

Bat: Are bats birds?

Shark: Not relevant unless there is also a tornado emoji, which unfortunately doesn't exist.

Clearly, we need more emojis.

Follow Sierra Bein on Twitter.