Jun 8, 2013
I would not and should not be writing about sports if I didn't think they were a way to better understand and enjoy a complicated moment-to-moment existence—not to mention a pretty righteous excuse to tell that existence to fuck off for a couple hours, be…
May 31, 2013
Watch a lousy team on a losing streak, though, and you'll eventually see what baseball skeptics see whenever they watch: a game that's aimless and dull and stilted and long, and which isn't even quick about it. But for months we settle in, drink down the…
May 17, 2013
As I age, my ear is retuning itself; I can finally hear something other than "ugh" watching the San Antonio Spurs play, which is cool, except how it parallels suddenly finding a 'Rod Stewart Sings the Standards' record soulful and great.
May 10, 2013
Derrick Rose, who won an MVP award in 2011 then wrecked his ACL and has been out for a year, has spent the last week getting kicked around by tough-guy sportswriters outraged that he's not back on the floor in his Chicago Bulls' series against the Miami H…
Apr 26, 2013
On Monday, the Maloofs will find out which of two potential buyers will pay them for the privilege of taking over the Kings, one of the NBA's worst franchises. So let's say goodbye, finally, to this family of avaricious, spray-tanned ghouls.
Apr 19, 2013
There is nothing out there on the internet, nothing useful to learn about the Boston bombings, only more of the guilty inertia that leads us to put this shit on in the background in the first place. There's nothing here for us, at the moment. So I'm going…
Apr 12, 2013
The NFL Draft takes three days and involves some of the dumber shout-machines on American television applying the same five adjectives to various muscular men over and over. It is very bad. But it can be better, if only because it can't be worse.
Apr 3, 2013
Rutgers men's basketball coach Mike Rice abused his players. He called them nasty names, hit them, threw balls at their heads, and was a generally awful human being. Now he's fired, and for good reason, but that he was more or less allowed to do these thi…
Mar 28, 2013
If there's a reason to cheer for FGCU—beyond the fact that they're fun as hell to watch—it's for the way they refuse and defuse and otherwise dunk right in the face of all that familiar college hoops sanctimony, simply by being the goofy, grimy Florida-as…
Mar 15, 2013
During his time in the announcer's booth, Bill Walton has demonstrated both a deep understanding of basketball and a sharp, sometimes vicious, sense of sarcasm. The worse the basketball gets, the better Walton gets at projecting his disdain for it.
Mar 11, 2013
Mets fans are not notably smarter or dumber, more or less entitled, or even sadder than the fans of any other flailing team. But thanks to their owners, the Wilpon family, the team's narrative is less a standard Shitty Owner Ruins Team story and more like…
Mar 1, 2013
adidas's new college basketball uniforms are just a dumb thing to look at and crack some jokes about. But the only compensation the athletes wearing them get is the enjoyment of the enhanced comfort provided by the breakthrough wicking polymers.