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Cry-Baby of the Week

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

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It's time once again for us to try to work out when everyone became such a gigantic fucking pussy.

Cry-Baby #1: A neighbour of Tammy Cooper, and the La Porte Police Department

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The incident: A Texan woman named Tammy Cooper let her children play outside.

The appropriate reaction: Nothing.

The actual reaction: Tammy was arrested and charged with child endangerment.

According to Tammy, her children were riding their scooters around the cul-de-sac where they live. While they did this, Tammy sat in her front garden and supervised them. A little later, when she and her children were back in the house, an officer from La Porte Police Department arrived, saying that a neighbour had called the police to report the children playing in the street.

At this point, rather than going to yell at the neighbour for being a total fucking idiot, the officer put Tammy in handcuffs and arrested her for child endangerment. She was taken to the local police station, where she was held overnight in a cell.

The charges were eventually dropped, and Tammy is now suing the police department.

According to reports, things between Tammy and her neighbour have since become both "awkward" and "a little tense".


Cry-baby #2: Richard and Catherine Beesley

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The incident: A couple had their electricity supply cut off because they didn't pay the bill.

The appropriate reaction: Talking it out with the person who you pay your bills to.

The actual reaction: The couple took to the roof of their property and staged a protest. They also contacted their local paper to tell them about this HORRIFYING violation of their human rights.

A 60-year-old lady named Catherine Beesley lives in a house with her husband Richard, and daughter Sue. Because of some kind of argument several years ago, the house, which she co-owns with her daughter, has been divided into separate living quarters so that they won't have to talk to each other.

I'm not entirely sure what happened next. The exact details (as well as some FUCKING HILARIOUS photos) are in this Daily Mail article, but they're so boring my brain won't let me fully absorb them. I THINK what happened was, the mum tried to pay the electricity bill to her daughter by cheque, but wrote the cheque for the wrong amount. So the daughter contacted the mother's solicitor, and said she wasn't going to cash the cheque until she rewrote if for the right amount. Or something. Whatever. 

The issue here is that these two are fucking grown-ass adults. In fact, they're pretty much as grown as a person can be without being dead. What exactly do you want the people that see your sad little protest to do for you? Oh, you're having to cook on a camping stove because you're too much of an idiot to ask your daughter to turn your electricity supply back on? Stop being such a fucking baby and just go and talk to her. This is a problem that could be resolved in five minutes or less. You could even get someone else to talk to her on your behalf. I don't care. Just get down off of that roof, IMMEDIATELY you stupid, stupid twats.

Who is the bigger cry-baby? Please, for the love of God, help us decide in the poll below:

Previously: The minister who is scared of partial nudity VS. The Deacon who is scared of potential gays

Winner: The deacon who is scared of potential gays!

Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT

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