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      Cry-Baby of the Week

      January 25, 2013

      By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

      West Coast Editor

      Cry-Baby #1: Mount Carmel Area School District

      (via)

      The incident: A five-year-old girl threatened to shoot another girl with a Hello Kitty bubble-gun.

      The appropriate response: Nothing. 

      The actual response: The girl's school suspended her for ten days. 

      The unnamed five-year-old was waiting for her school bus outside Mount Carmel Area Middle School in Pennsylvania when she told another classmate that she was going to shoot her with a pink Hello Kitty gun. A gun she did not have with her at the time. 

      The girl was then taken away and questioned by school officials for three hours.

      Somehow, at the end of this three-hour interrogation, the school decided that the child had made "terroristic threats", and she was suspended for ten days. 

      A school psychologist then examined the girl (seriously), and decided that she was "not a danger to others". So her suspension period was reduced to four days. 

      When approached for a comment, the school said, "we don't comment on issues involving staff or students because of confidentiality." 

      PS: How fucking irritating is the way that American newsreaders speak? The part where she was explaining what a bubble gun was for the SECOND FUCKING TIME made my entire body clench. Why do they all talk that way? Is there some kind of training you have to go through before you can present local news where they teach you how to speak like you're not a human? 

      Cry-Baby #2: The neighbours of Yvette Richard

      (via)

      The incident: A dog had sex with another dog.

      The appropriate response: Nothing. Maybe filming it and putting it on your Facebook page.

      The actual response: The owner of one of the dogs called the police, claiming that their dog had been raped. 

      Yvette Richards has several dogs that she keeps locked up in her back yard. One day, a one-year-old basset hound named Dante that she owns managed to squeeze through a gap in her fence and on to her neighbour's property. 

      The owners of the house called the police who came and issued Yvette with a fine for violating a city ordinance prohibiting dog owners from letting their pets roam free. On the "comment" line of the ticket Yvette was issued, it said, "this dog bred another dog unwanted".

      HAHA

      "Basically, they're saying that my dog raped their dog," Yvette said. 

      When asked for a comment by a local news channel, the neighbours said that the dog-rape was not what caused them to call the police, and that Dante had attempted to bite one of their children. A claim that Yvette says is untrue.

      So, which one of these unseen whiners is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in the poll below. SRSLY. 

      Previously: The homophobic restaurant owner who can't spell vs. The violent dad who hates farts

      Winner: The dad!!!

      Follow Jamie on Twitter - @JLCT

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      Topics: Cry-Baby of the Week, dog rape, bubbles, terrorism, jamie lee curtis taete

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