Cry-Baby of the Week

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

Cry-Baby #1: The Neighbours of Ryan Worthington


Photo by Lenscop

The incident: Some kids made a snow penis. 

The appropriate response: Laughing. Taking a picture. 

The actual response: Some neighbours were so offended by the frosty phallus that they called the police. 

The 6ft tall snow dick was built by 16-year-old Ryan Worthington in the front yard of his parent's house last week.

"[Ryan] put it there as a joke so I'd see it when I went to work – I laughed my ass off," said his mother to a Huffington Post reporter. 

But not everyone found it as funny as momma. According to the Providence Journal, police were called about the snow-penis FOUR TIMES over the course of two days. Police visited the house, but did not take action as they believed the snow penis "would be protected by free speech" (LOL @ America.)

To celebrate the fact that the police had been called, Ryan and his mum decided to make the white wang even taller, adding an extra 4ft of length on to the end (pictured above right). 

"They're teenage boys – there's worse things they could be doing," said the mum, who sounds AWESOME. "It was innocent. And to be honest, knowing that it pissed people off gave us a little charge. If you have nothing else to do in your day other than complain about a snow penis, we'll make it 12 feet tall."

Cry-Baby #2: Ashley Hunter

(via)

The incident: A guy refused to change positions during an MMF threesome.

The appropriate response: Well, as the one being penetrated, it's really up to the woman which position she wants to be in. So nothing. 

The actual response: A stabbing. 

Ashley Hunter (pictured above right) had been partying with Orlando DeWitt (pictured above left) and some other friends at a bar in Fargo, North Dakota. 

After the bar closed, they headed back to Ashley's home, to continue the party. At some point, Ashley, Orlando and a woman named Leticia started to have sex on the couch. 

Leticia was "allegedly servicing" both men, with Orlando receiving head, while Ashley did some stuff at the other end. When Ashley asked to switch positions, Orlando refused, and the two began to argue. 

According to police, this is when Ashley pulled out a 12-inch butcher knife and tried to attack Orlando with it. Orlando and Leticia tried to hide in the bathroom, but Ashley was able to force his way in. 

Orlando made a run for the door, and managed to escape from the building. But not before Ashley stabbed him in the back of his left arm. 

Orlando was hospitalised, but is going to be fine. I'm not sure the same can be said for his friendship with Ashley, though. 

So, which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know, in this poll, plzzzzzz:

Previously: The woman who hates gays vs. The guy who hates Alanis Morissette 

Winner: The woman who hates gays!!!

Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT

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