Designers Are Making Tiny Clothes for Oppressive Dolls

A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that's made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.

BARBIE CAN AFFORD THE CLOTHES YOU CAN'T

Barbie's been making headlines pretty frequently since people decided they were bored of their children playing with dolls which look like chewed-up streched-out bits of Hubba Bubba. There was the guy who re-designed Barbie's face, and the guy who re-designed Barbie's body (are you the same person?) and a whole bunch of incredibly informative and interesting articles about whether or not Barbie is an appropriate role model, or whether she was a role model at all. But instead of all this bad press making Barbie impossible to work with, the controversy appears to have made her even more iconic. Similarly to how the newly christened "Cocaine Kate" booked 18 campaigns in 2006, the revelations of Barbie's anorexia, dentures and surgery have made her even more fashionable. Case in point: Nasir Mazhar has designed a capsule collection for her tiny stupid body, which is obviously really cool and covetable. I like it, but can't we have it in human size for the same price? Please?

DR MARTENS

There aren't a huge amount of things we can all agree on. Cronuts, jeggings, wedge trainers and the physical ability to "smize" are a small section of things I have disagreed about with people since I arrived at work this morning. Agreeing is quite boring, especially on a Friday, when we're all just looking desperately for a reason to storm out of whatever we're doing and start the weekend early. Anyway, it turns out, cynicism aside, that there are one or two things we can all unanimously get behind. That being the desire for shoes which will not fall apart as we storm out to start the weekend… Okay yeah, you get it. We want shoes that are cool, comfortable, timeless, durable and look 1,000x better than a wedge trainer. Which seems like a pretty steep prospect, but once you watch the new Dr Martens AW campaign video above, you'll get what I'm talking about. Classic, hardy shoes with an emphasis on British heritage, which you couldn't argue over even if your ex was trying to sell you a pair.

FASHION EAST

Next time you're stuck on the bus home next to somebody you're friends with on Facebook but not in real life, consider bonding with them over the great news that all three of last year's Fashion East designers are returning to show for another season. Yep, Ashley Williams of the teddy bear bags, Elvis dresses and cigarette print T-shirts will be returning. Along with the amazing Ryan Lo, whose candy floss coats better make a re-appearance, and Claire Barrow, who by now doesn't even really need an introduction because you must already know how great she is. Anyway, congratulations guys!

PUMA X ALEXANDER MCQUEEN

And finally to a collection of shoes so confusing we all need to sit and talk about it. First of all, who are these shoes for? Are they for Will.i.am? Are they for Damien Hirst? Are they for mid-life crisis dads, or their ironic-micro-scooter loving teenage children? I love shoes, I find it hard to say bad things about most shoes (genuinely, it's an issue), and I'm not about to launch a tirade of bad press over these. It's not that they're awful, they're just… Confusing. Those pink hi-tops at the back look like they were designed for Robbie Williams to wear in a remake of "Rock DJ". IDK, maybe you need to send me a pair so I can get a closer look. Or maybe just send them straight to Charles Saatchi, they're like the perfect divorce shoe for men. Maybe you could make matching laptop cases. Not in a bad way.

Follow Bertie on Twitter: @bertiebrandes

Previously – This Week, Music is 'In'