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The first time I did it was obviously a disaster. She was unjustly better looking than I was and the first girl whose clothes I managed to take off. For fear she would stop me or change her mind, I limited myself to shifting her knickers to one side. I had watched enough porn to be convinced I knew how to do it and threw myself in with enthusiasm. It tasted slightly rusty (and I remember thinking that exact word) and, after I spent some time trying, unable to hold my breath any longer, I gave up.I don't want to get too deep into the phallocentric philosophy that lies at the foundations of our sexual education, but I need to add that my decision to avoid oral sex was never an insurmountable problem: Apart from the initial disappointment, once I made the girl come in some other way, things seemed absolutely fine. Like most humans, I too have a sense of smell and that's he first drawback. I never liked the smell, regardless of the level of hygiene a girl possessed. Additionally, performing oral sex on a woman also forces you into an awkward position. An uncomfortable one, to be precise. "If I don't have my neck at the right angle I get neck pain", someone explains on Reddit. "There's no real comfortable position".The situation, as far as I'm concerned, does not improve from an anatomical point of view. The female body is a combination of marvellous features: the curves, the breasts, the softness of the hips, the smooth skin… but the vulva is not so great. It is a wound in an otherwise perfect whole.
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Most importantly, however, women are absurdly demanding when it comes to oral sex. The penis is a simple thing – it's hard to get things completely wrong. On the other hand, each woman has her own unique way of receiving and appreciating oral sex, as well as very specific requests.It is practically impossible to get over a bad session of oral sex. Do not even try to say things like "I appreciate the effort". Any man who's failed at satisfying a woman orally knows that means you're instantly out of the game. So I just prefer to avoid the area of potential disappointment altogether and receive blowjobs instead. Yes, to me blowjobs are a fundamental part of the sexual intercourse game.You might be thinking I am lazy or ungrateful. I like to think that I am simply averse to letting women down. Going down on a woman requires a combination of talents that I do not posses, and so I have decided to dedicate myself to other things. To rounder and perfumed parts, suitable to being penetrated by protuberances other than the tongue.Read: The Scientific and Personal Benefits of Never Masturbating