MENK, BY JOHN DORAN
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Check My Machine
My dealer says I can't get writing work because I'm obnoxious. Full story
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They Rode Over Peasants Like You
The ups and downs of falling hopelessly in love with cocktails. Full story
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Don't Tell Me That the High Rise Has to End
It's odd, DJing sober. Full story
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Diving for Dear Life
Roaming Memory Lane in Thatcher's North. Full story
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It's Educational!
University's pretty good at inducing nervous breakdowns, especially if you're taking acid. Full story
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Wandering Stars of Whom it Is Reserved, the Blackness of Darkness Forever
An open invite to Portishead to feast on whale at the best music festival in the world. Full story
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You Can Do It, Put Your Back Into It. I Can Do It, Put Your Ass Into It
Chaos, vertigo and rebirth at the North London ball pond. Full story
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A Fag in a Whalebone Corset Draping His Dick Across My Cheek
How to give up drinking forever, part three. Full story
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The Emptiness of the Prize
How to reclaim your sanity by giving up booze forever: part two. Full story
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None of Our Secrets Are Physical Now
You know that good looking guy, who’s always smiling? Fuck that guy. I hate that fucking guy. Full story
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To the One True God Above, Here Is My Prayer
Hell isn't that bad, but it's full of wankers. It's time to quit the drugs for good. Full story
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Going Underground
At the end of the day, all us humans really want is to end up in the dark. Full story
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This Isn't Some Kind of Metaphor, Goddamn, This Is Real!
Getting your friends sectioned is never particularly easy. Full story
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Circling the Drain
Sometimes you have to break all of your life rules and admit that bands with ginger dreadlocks can be good. Full story
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It's Midnight... I'm On the Soul Train!
I spent far too long living in a prostitute-sodden suburbia, building every day around my flask of whiskey. Full story
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I'm Half Crazy All for the Love of You
I used to understand why drugs tore holes in my memory, but then I forgot. Full story
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We Can Find New Ways of Living
Northerners gone wild: pissing on churches, puking in gutters, horrifying small Algerian boys. Full story
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Orange? Yeah! That's Right!
You know your life's not as perfect as your photos make it out to be. Full story
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You Know You Make Me Want to Scream
Wanna know the difference between Liverpool, Manchester and London? Full story
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I Saw a Deadhead Sticker on a Cadillac
London is full of signs and omens. They tell you what's going to happen next. Full story
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Lord I Have a Broken Heart
When you stop drinking, you worry that no one will find you interesting ever again. Full story
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Working in the Sun, Drinking Schnapps, Having Fun
So, let me tell you about my first beer. Full story
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Ain't There One Damn Song That Can Make Me Break Down and Cry
Will Self famously said that all aeroplanes should be completely transparent. "Fuck that," I replied. Full story
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Trudging Slowly Over Wet Sand
Here is a list of ideas. You can use them in any way you see fit. I don’t care. Full story
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Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations
It takes a lot to shock and appall men with spikes coming out of their chin, but I managed it. Full story
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Blinded by the Light
Drinking nothing but out-of-date beer for a fortnight is a good way to destroy your sanity. Full story
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Beautiful Boys on a Beautiful Dancefloor
I'm sorry Michael Smiley, your face doesn't really look like it melted on a radiator. Full story
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Dance Yourself Clean
Life isn't always like being herded through a massive Ikea with a meat grinder at the end. Sometimes it's good. Full story
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On and On South of Heaven
What does it mean to be Northern? Full story
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My God! What Have I Done?
When you blackout every time you drink and you're drinking all the time, it's like your life never really happened. Full story
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