MILF TEETH
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I Went To the Top of the Shard and Felt Feelings
The whole building is the punchline to someone else's joke. Full story
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Three Things That Happened to Me This Week That Were More Punk Than the Punk Met Gala Ball
My life is so full of anarchy. Full story
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Summer's Here and Everyone's Looking for New Sex
In the parks, in the pubs, in the past. Full story
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East London, You're Killing Me
A place full of stories without any morals. Full story
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I Have Decided to Stand For Election
Things are going to change around here, Nick Clegg. Full story
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Ten Things My Kid Won't Believe About 2013
Including pissy little internet bitches, the NHS, Rihanna and a cure for HIV. Full story
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The Notches On Your Bedpost Don't Mean Shit
Your sex gets better when you're learning with one person. Full story
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The Psychology of Bippity-Boppity Hats
Why does it make people want to attack me? Full story
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How I Divided the Royal Family and Brought Down New Labour
After almost getting run over by the Popemobile. Full story
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8AM Kiss FM Ecstasy
Me, my baby, my Turkish taxi driver and the worst song ever recorded. Full story
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Offer Your Sex to the Lord
God kills boners but he makes your soul warm. Full story
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The Stories I Tell That Someone New
When you first meet someone new, it's important to unload all of your important facts and stories onto them. Full story
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Happy Fucking Valentine's
An open letter to anyone who's currently single. Full story
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Raves Made Me and They'll Make My Baby Too
I took my one-year-old to her first night club. Full story
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How to Get Half Drunk and Be a Genius
The best place to find profundity is on the toilet floor of a shit club at 3AM. Full story
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I've Created a Little Piece of the Future
Having a kid can feel really, really weird. Full story
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A Love Letter to Westfield Shopping Centre
The heart wants what the heart wants. Full story
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I Don't Want to Stay at Home Tonight
Even if the babysitter is rapidly turning my child into a Mafioso. Full story
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Airborne and Airtight On New Year's Eve
I spent NYE at home with my parents, having bad boy gangbang fantasies. Full story
Gay Men And Their Misogyny Problem
It's not cute anymore.
Ground Zero - Syria
The bombing of Aleppo's Dar al-Shifa hospital.
Malaysian Neo-Nazis
Fighting for a pure Malay race.
Britain's Comedy Nazis
They're spoiling it for everyone.
Hungary's Far-Right
They blame Jews and gypsies for all their problems.
I'm Hunting Down A Fat Fetishist
He stole my laptop.