PEN PALS
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There's No Sex in Prison Showers
Lets talk about turning gay in prison. Full story
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HardWhite and Harry Potter
Little white wizards get no play in county lockup. Full story
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The Trials of Job
It's hard to find work as a felon. Full story
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Bert Meets a Real Rapper Who’s a Year Out of Prison
A lotta dudes in prison are rappers, but I don’t pay them much mind. Full story
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Addiction Isn't a Disease, I'm Just a Dick
It’s an insult to anyone with cancer to suggest that addiction is a disease of similar nature. Full story
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RockBottom Heads Toward Bottom
The early morning air stunk of pissy pussy and unwashed balls. Full story
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Prisons I've Known and Yelped
I’m the ORIGINAL prison reviewer. Full story
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Home Is Where the Prison Is
Should we force people out on parole to carry smartphones and wear monitoring anklets? Full story
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HardWhite Loves Twerk ’n’ Jerk
The latest installment of our prison correspondent's hood novel. Full story
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Down in the Hole
The cops definitely use the box as a tool, and it’s been seriously overused. Full story
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Prisons Punish Families Too
Imagine your dad was locked up for most of your life. Full story
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Incorrect Officers
Daaamn! Look at this prison guard who’s having a cop killer’s baby after banging him behind bars! Full story
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Rehab or Prison?
The big difference is that in rehab there are chicks. Full story
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Rappin' Wif Rockbottom
"That dude is smoother than silky sperm!” Full story
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God Behind Bars
I guess I haven’t hit rock bottom yet, ‘cause I don’t believe religion will save me. Full story
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HardWhite, an Introduction
Our prison correspondent tries his hand at hood fiction. Full story
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Holidays in Jail
For the two million Americans in prison, the holidays are a terrible time. Full story
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Slaying the Snot-Sneezing Dragon
Fuck writing about jail, I’m all about makin’ sperm rain these days. Full story
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Pissin’ Out the Pain
I'm going to jail again, but I'll be damned if I wet myself on the way. Full story
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I'm in Love with This Fake Pussy
Tenga is the best snatch on Earth times 20. Full story
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Pen Pals - Getting $$ in the Clink-Clink
Gambling in jail. Full story
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Pen Pals - The People You Meet in Prison
I sat face to face with a heartless murderer and realised we had some things in common. Full story
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Pen Pals - My Bloody Valentine
Our prison correspondent wrote these poems. They are mainly about boning. Full story
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Pen Pals - Jailhouse Rap
Today, Bert Burykill shares some of his songs with us. Yes, he is a rapper too. Full story
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Pen Pals - Where Love Goes to Die
My ex-girl wrote this letter to me as she sat in a cell across the hall at the county jail. Full story
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Pen Pals - A Day on the Inside
An average day in jail is just boring, so you have to amuse yourself. I took up cock puppetry. Full story
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Pen Pals - The Perils of Piss Tests
I have pissed in a cup at least 100 times, and I still haven't learned a damn thing. Full story
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Pen Pals - A Dispatch from the Inside
I can't even shit without dreams of being anally pleasured by some fat bitch's tongue. Full story
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Pen Pals - The Right to Blow Loads
Defended by someone who's actually jerked it in a cell. Full story
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Pen Pals – New Year's Sleaze
A blood-speckled shart in the free world is more enticing than a NYE locked up. Full story
Istanbul Rising
The biggest social uprising in Turkish history.
Medical Weed Growers Are Ready To Fight
Mik Mann doesn't want to buy corporate weed.
'Whitey' Isn't Very Popular In Boston
Interviews with some of his old friends.
This Man Thinks He Never Has To Eat Again
A vomit-coloured cocktail could change food forever.
Try Not To Destroy Your Life
The first time I took molly.
Suburban Rebel Kristian Holmes Has Been Caught
Dad by day, graffiti gang kingpin by night.