RIHANNA TOUCHED HER VAGINA A WHOLE BUNCH
I'm not sure what it is about Rihanna, but I get these weird vibes off her that she isn't fully mentally capable. Like she has some kind of disorder that stops her from being able to comprehend human emotion, and one time someone explained to her how to be "sexy" and she just ran with it. I guess it's the only way I can imagine her agreeing to sing a song like this, or why she would think it would be OK to spend 11% of the above video with her hand on her vag (seriously, I timed it. Gross.)
CALIFORNIA'S ANNUAL "WORST PEOPLE ON EARTH" CONVENTION A ROARING SUCCESS
I'm saving up for a nuke. Can anyone gimme a better place to detonate it than this? No? K, cool.
A WOMAN TRANSFORMED INTO DRAKE
After all that, I bet she still spent less time on her face than the real Dreezy
GARY BUSEY AND TED HAGGARD TOOK PART IN AN EPISODE OF CELEBRITY WIFE SWAP
Nice to see people finally exploring the comedic potential of mental illness.
WHATEVER-THIS-GUY-IS-CALLING-HIMSELF-NOW MADE SOMETHING CRAPPY
Sean "P./Puff 'swag' Diddy/Daddy" Coombs owns a vodka brand called Ciroc. For their new campaign they decided to gather some of Sean's overstyled celeb-pals (most of whom I don't recognise, all of whom I can guaruntee are cunts) and head to Vegas to get #cirocboywasted and channel some of that old-style Las Vegas glamour that nobody got enough of in the last Oceans movie.
Can you imagine if you saw this group of people walk past you in real life? You would literally die from laughing.
Follow Jamie on Twitter - @JLCT