AMSTERDAM - SINCE WHEN DID IT BECOME THE US?

By viceland

Shroomart90
Today is a sad day for stoned tourists hoping to score legal shrooms in Amsterdam. With the Dutch mushroom ban taking effect December 1 (check your calendar; it is today) all Dutch smart shops will be forced to stop selling magical fungi, and all commercial mushroom farms and greenhouses will be forced to close their humid dung-stained doors. Shroom police will patrol the streets cutting off the hands of anyone seen ingesting a sacred mushroom, and then forcing them to smoke conformist cigarettes.


Shroomart11
Although people in most of the civilized world have resigned themselves to consuming psychedelics anywhere except for in front of cops, for Dutch mushroom eaters this is still too much restriction. Protestors have been spraying Dutch parliament with spore-filled super soakers, and sprinkling billions of psychedelic spores over Amsterdam from a hot air balloon. All because a suicidal French girl jumped off a bridge while tripping, sparking an explosion of stoner riddles, why not ban bridges? Why not ban crazy girls? Why not ban tourists? I talked to a friend in the Netherlands and he said it won’t really make a difference anyway and that weed is technically banned as well. I have no idea if that’s true but if it is can the Dutch lawmakers stop being such drama queens?

Also it’s unclear how this will affect magic mushrooms here in the US of A, where we make drugs illegal and really mean it. Since most of our shrooms come from the Netherlands it might put a kink in the supply chain, but probably not because they can start importing spores from Mexico or wherever they have not gotten around to banning everything that gives human beings pleasure.

HAMILTON MORRIS

By viceland 3 years ago

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