Asking A Psychic About Charlie Sheen

Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla. Everybody's talking – but that doesn't mean they're seeing. I'm sure you're familiar with the two biggest news stories of the week – number one: Charlie Sheen's captivating descent (ascent?) into unbelievably articulate madness, and two: the realignment of the astrological zodiac. But why has no one explored the connection between the two? Why is no one out there joining the dots? Charlie says he's off the gak. He was born on the third of September. Could his "erratic" behaviour be down to a shift in his star sign, from Virgo to Leo? Enough conjecture – let's look at the facts.

Virgo: Highly discriminating, highly focused, highly analytical, fastidious, perfectionist, self-critical.

Leo: Proud, attention-seeking, thrill-seeking, passionate, dramatic, intense, childlike, expressive, playful.

Seems pretty clear cut to me, but then I'm not an expert in the metaphysical. So I had a look on the internet and found someone who was: self-proclaimed "PsychicGirl" Jusstine Kenzer, the Hollywood Psychic Healer and we chatted over instant messenger.

JUSSTINE KENZER ON THE BBC
[audio:http://www.viceland.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/0807-late-show.mp3]

VICE: Hey, so are you a professional astrologist?
Jusstine Kenzer: No.

Oh.
I am a psychic. It's different. Very different. But I'm a strong voice about everything metaphysical. A trusted voice, most call me.

Great. So what I wanted to talk to you about is Charlie Sheen.
OK.

The "top dog". The "big man". The "erstwhile Estevez".
Sure, ask away.

I was wondering if the recent change in his behaviour could be attributed to this shift in the zodiac that everyone's talking about.
No. The "recent shift" in the zodiac is crap.

Really? So why is it being reported by the BBC?
Yes. Everyone's reporting it. Someone said something or wrote a story, and everyone is hungry for news. It's lies. Gossip. Any big astrologer will tell you it's crap.

So there has been no shift in the zodiac and you're not an astrologist?
That is correct. In the big picture of what is really going on, we are affected by so many energies. Everyone is so caught up with having to have an answer. There is no answer. You can't make sense of energy.

Shit.
So Charlie. What do you want to ask about him? I will tell you what is going on with him.

Please do.
Look. They don't call alcohol "spirits" by accident. When people are addicts... When people drink and do drugs it opens them up to anything. Seriously all kinds of scary energies flying around out there. So poor Charlie... we aren't even seeing "him" at this point.

Really? He's possessed?
I'm not using the word possessed. And don't you dare use that word.

OK. Sorry.
It's like his spirit has been hijacked. He is completely and totally unbalanced. It's like he's standing in the middle of a freeway and all the traffic is going by, but it's going through him. The essence of who he is is so completely gone. This energy has taken him over. It seems like him, and he has to take responsibility for it, but he's just out to lunch. Him talking about having an alien consciousness or whatever he has said... there is no making sense of this. It's a dry drunk. A dry drug addict. He doesn't have to be using to not have the effects.

K.
Look, we have a higher and a lower nature. Desire comes from lower nature. Dark versus the light. His lower nature, hello: sex, money, power. So now the poor guy's spirit – it's like if your spirit were curled up in this tiny little ball hanging out in your little toe. Or 100 feet behind you. And that's allowed something else to come in and rule your space.

Like a power vacuum.
That's why when someone is an addict but sober, and they don't know how to remove this energy, they stay in it. They might as well be doing the drugs. Sadly I see people like this all the time. That's why you see crazy people on street corners talking to themselves.

OK. To be more specific, is Charlie displaying the telltale signs of someone's who's been spiritually hijacked?
Hello! Yes.

What about phrases like "can't is the cancer of happen"? To me "can't is the cancer of happen" actually seems like quite a positive statement.
Sure. I think that's a great statement. But there's a fine line between genius and insanity.

What do you mean?
We are all psychic and intuitive. If you are in a great mood and you talk to someone who's in a bad mood, and you don't feel so great after, it's because you picked up their energy.

Do you think Charlie's aware of all this stuff?
No. No way. He's exposed himself to some pretty dark stuff. That's what happens when you do drugs. You are vulnerable to this energy – really dark, ugly stuff – that takes over and makes you handcuff women to sinks, etc.

OK.
The guy needs to be energetically cleaned up.

Why do drugs possess the ability to open a person up to the dark side?
Because it changes your frequency. You don't want to feel pain, so you leave your body and your spirit checks out to another place. Then when it comes back it has lots of visitors attached to it.

So what would your advice to Charlie be?
I'm not sure I have any. What he is dealing with is not anything I want to clean up. But there are people I know who love cleaning up situations like this.

OK, I mean... What would you guess would be the way for him to get healthier?
There is no guessing. He needs the energy kicked out of his space.

Who could do that?
I could, I just don't want to. It isn't fun!

Why not?
Seriously... It's the same thing as people thinking I picked being psychic as a profession because I wanted to do it! It isn't a game.

I'm just interested in your techniques and experiences.
He needs a healing. It's simple. It's like asking a doctor how to perform surgery.

What does the healing involve? He comes into the room, then...
No, sorry. Not telling you my process. What else would you like to ask?

Why do you think he keeps saying "I'm winning"?
I have no idea. Sorry.

Maybe a desire to convince himself that he's OK?
Sure. Or some energy connected to him is trying to convince him.

Do you like any of his films?
No. And I've never watched Two and a Half Men.

Not even Hot Shots: Part Deux? That film's not bad.
Nope. Never been drawn to him. Would love if you can talk about the Bad Energy Buster!!

I'd like to get to the Bad Energy Buster, but first...
Go on, look I'm a really lovely girl :)

OK. Do you think the Bad Energy Buster bath salts would help Charlie?
I don't think Charlie wants help.

But if he were genuinely willing to accept it? Could this aid him, just as it has aided others, in his recovery?
Look, this product really works. I use it myself to clean up from reading people and the stuff I pick up every day. Most of us haven't been doing briefcases full of coke.

What if we've been doing just a little bit of coke? My girlfriend just dumped me for not being able to "cure myself with my mind". Will you go on a date with me?
Ha, you're funny. My last four relationships – all Brits!

Once you go Brit you can't quit.
Evidently.

Here's a picture of me. I'm the one on the right.
Ah, you're cute.

Win-ning!
And young.

25. I still get ID'd for cigarettes. Wanna come over to my house and smoke cigarettes?
I don't smoke and I'm in Los Angeles.

I don't really want to go on a date with you. Will you send me good vibes so that my girlfriend takes me back?
Sure.

Thanks, Jusstine.

Jusstine Kenzer's 'Bad Energy Buster bath salts "work great on hangovers, psychic attacks, energy vampires or just when you had a bad day." You can buy them here for $24 plus shipping.

Active ingredients are: "baking soda, epson salt, special blessings & love."

KEV KHARAS