Iranian VBS producer Pegah Farahmand celebrated her birthday today. After bringing her new puppy up to piss all over our carpeted editorial mezzanine she started slagging off the Great British Happy Birthday song. She reckons the Iranian one is better. And she's right!
We assumed everyone in the world celebrated like the Brits do: with a dull lifeless song trolled out in a cretinous jaw-lolling fashion. But we were wrong. Arrogant and wrong. One minute into this and we guarantee you’ll be mocking up the invites for your birthday in Tehran next year.
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BRUCE LA-VRAI
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