Chewing the crud: Purchasing a pair of non-muscular macaws
Below is another installment of my "Chewing the crud" column, in which I reply to adverts on Gumtree and Craigslist. This time I tried to buy two cute little Hahn's macaws.
I am interested in buying your exquisite Hahn's macaws. But first I have a few questions I must ask. How old are they and in what conditions have they been kept thus far? Do they get much chance to run around and are they kept in a well-lit or dark room? Finally, do you know how much they weigh?
Please get back to me with some answers and then we can discuss a transaction.
Hi thank you for repling to my add.
they are about two and a half, they are generall in their cage with their toys which is an open top so I often let them out to perch at the top they do sometimes venture down although not that often due to cage dominance. I useually keep them in the front room however I have just moved them into my kitchen. They are just in general daylight.
sorry I don't know how much they weigh.
Hello R Finn,
Many thanks for your swift, albeit succinct reply. There are few things I find more courteous than a quick reply to an email.
It's a shame that they've been running around so much and are kept in the daylight but I will still go through with the transaction. I am sure their muscles can't be that strong from the odd trip outside their cage. How would you like to be paid? Cash on delivery?
PS. Do their feathers come off easily?
when will you be able to pick them up? you can have a £90 reduction if you come and get them now. cash on collection would be wonderful. sorry i dont know that much about parrots interms of their fethers.
How generous of you! I am humbled by your kindness. If I am to be honest, I was worried when you said you were unsure of the birds' weights whether I was getting a good deal, but with this discount I now know I am. Regardless, two whole birds is more than plenty for what I require them for.
I need to pick up the birds before Sunday (I have my fiancee's family coming over for a special meal).
Not to worry about their feathers. Boiling water should get rid of most of them!
When can I pick them up?
you can pick them up tomorow my address is on the advert.
could you please bring a box for them as my one got distroyed.
Brilliant! I shall come by in the evening. There is but one problem. I am quite squeamish. Would it be possible for you to "take care" of the birds before I arrive? ;-) I don't fancy going through with it myself. I had real trouble with the last bird I bought. He was a feisty devil and drew blood on my pinky finger while I was trying to strangle him. I don't mind gutting and plucking them myself though.
PS. Do you have any good macaw recipes? I heard tarragon goes well with it. How do you usually cook them?
You need a licence to slaughter. If your really planning on killing and eating them take them to the butcher. If you seriously want to buy them come and get them tomorow. otherwise please dont waste my time.
Dear Mr/Mrs Finn,
First of all, I am EXTREMELY offended by your insinuation that I am not taking this matter seriously. This is a VERY serious matter. My fiancee's family arrive on Sunday and I HAVE to impress them. I have to make up for my unfaithfulness by cooking them a meal fit for Henry VIII.
I have approached my local butcher but he has told me it would be unhygienic to kill exotic birds in his shop. That leaves you as prime candidate to "deal with" the birds. My fiancee's family are Muslim so the meat MUST be halal. I trust you have a sharp knife for their throats.
By the way, what have you been feeding the birds? I hope only organic products.
Strangely, R Finn did not reply. So I sent another email.
Hope everything is OK for later. I simply must get the creatures tonight. I have prepared a marinade and it will be necessary to soak them over night for the banquet tomorrow.
Don't worry about the knife, I've borrowed a cleaver from Bruce my local butcher. Will be round in an hour with it.
PS. Do you think both macaws will fit in the microwave at once?
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