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CONSUMER PRODUCT REVIEW - PREMJACT

Busting a nut too quick, scientifically referred to as "premature ejaculation," has been a major concern for sexually active couples for decades. As a result of this affliction, relationships have been damaged, feelings have been hurt, and many girls losing it for the first time have been unpleasantly surprised.

Experimental remedies for lasting longer have run the gamut from aggressively peeing first to picturing fat chicks to even (occasionally) asking to take odd breaks during sex. While the medical community has focused a lot of recent energy on a definitive cure for limp dick, they've been strangely silent on the egregious-jizzing question. Finally, however, a pharmaceutical company has stepped up to the plate with a Male Genital Desensitizer Spray called Premjact. Premjact harnasses the power of Lidocaine to "temporarily reduce sensitivity of the penis," thereby forestalling ejaculation for as long as you or the Lidocaine desires. I bought my can from the Polish drug store near our office for the low price of $7. All you "quick cummers" reading this should be able to find you own Premjact near the register of your local Polish pharmacy.

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The packaging recommended three sprays, but after the third shot I didn't feel like the Premjact was having any effect so I decided to tack on an additional five. My dick now began to feel extremely cold and a strong menthol smell permeated the air around me.

The spray was definitely successful in delaying me from orgasming. Unfortunately it was also very successful in delaying my lady from the same. She claimed that the spray had desensitized her too via contact high to the point where she didn't even want to come, which is highly abnormal I assure you. Evidently Premjact makes no distinction between male and female genitals, possibly the explanation behind the bootleg Prince symbol on the box.

Ejaculation aside, the Premjact did make my dick feel cool and minty while it was still moist, like it was hanging out on a breezy autumn day. But as it dried my shaft began to itch and the skin felt weird and grippy. A little got in my eye too and I began to severely tear up. At this point my lady came out strong against the Premjact, "This was a horrible experience. I feel weird and desensitized, also I'm afraid to touch my mouth after touching it since the can says 'Get medical help immediately if swallowed.'" We concluded that the dick is a very important body part, and far too essential for capricious anesthetizing. Never again.

Also it made my balls itch and I could not fully feel them or my dick until I woke up the next morning. ZERO stars.

TAJI AMEEN
http://redalurk.blogspot.com/