CORPORATE SHILLING - YOU CAN WIN A HAT

By viceland

We hate male hats. With exceptions made for those that keep you warm and those that keep high-velocity bolts from perforating your brain, they all make the heads they live on look as bald and attention-starved as a banjo-playing only-child on a unicycle. Oh, who's also bald. However, we know from our previous outing on the subject that there are those of you out there who would rather post threatening comments on the internet than let the hat leave their itchy, bad-smelling scalps. As a concession to your shitty taste, we are giving away this hat made by Brixton and In4mation to whoever emails this guy the best reason why they need it. Actually, it looks like a pretty decent hat as far as hats go. If somebody put a knife to our throat and told us to wear it, we'd be like "Are you serious? Wear a piece of woven straw on our heads or you'll kill us? OKOKOK. Look, we're putting it on right now. There. See? It's on, it's on our head, just put the knife down. What the hell was that about?! No seriously, that was fucked up."