Dear VICE: Hi From The East Wing Of The Psych Ward
I don’t know what’s taken me so long to actually write you guys, because for so long you have been my vice. But God forsake me—I am stuck in the Princess Alexandra Hospital on Ipswich Rd. My ex used to call me Princess actually, but I’ll save his story for later.
The guys here’ve nicknamed me the “Eastern Angel” on account of being on the East Wing of the psych ward. I’m not crazy though; just a freelancer who has been mistaken for a junkie. Compare me to Charlie Sheen I guess; Jesus; maybe Gaga; whatever…
So right now my issue is my right to freedom etc. old nurse lady banned me from wearing shorts for the first few days (bollocks, I know) and I’m denied leave. Meanwhile, all my shit—including my beloved copy of Skinema and also all my ID—is somewhere in The Valley in Brisbane. Fearful that my stuff is now covered in some homeless man’s jizz, I’d really appreciate you guys spreading the word.
The word being, I’m no fake. I’m no liar. I’m actually beginning to think I’m an alright kind of girl. I mean, I grew up sailing and I’ve been telemarketing all kinds of shit just to try and fund myself. It works sometimes, but right now - not so much – I’m out of work, in the loony bin.
There’s not much to do here at all. Shouts to my big sister for mailing me up a copy of your mag. Was having major drama getting my hands on Vice up here.
Anyway, it’s been like 2-3 weeks since I was admitted. I’ve headbutted a cop and got away with it, made a ‘hate rap’, some mad friends, and moved rooms near to four times now. I got a coffee thrown at me today in group/lifestyle therapy by a Freedom Fighter with Tourette’s. She told me Jesus Christ never existed and I’ve only just thought of a comeback, just now. Maybe Che Guevara is mythological also, and maybe she would have spun out on that.
So I’m about done ranting but I thought I’d mail you some of our art and things. I’m starting a charity/traveling skate circus when I’m free. Just a thought we had in here.
Take it easy kids. Stay safe, stay sane.
B. C. Mitchell
Vice sez - Thanks for the letter, pictures and weird little crucifix thing. We don't have any copies of Skinema laying around but we do have a brand new The World According to Vice book which we'll pop into a post bag with some recent issues and send up to you. Your short-pants-hating head-nurse doesn't have any objections to photos of bondage or dudes sexily blowing smoke into other dudes' faces does she? Maybe don't show her. Hopefully you get out soon so you can track down all your stuff. Fingers crossed it's not too jizzy!