DEAR VICE - U SUK :(

By viceland

Recently we were forced to ban from our web site one sad little dimwit for a barrage of pointless, unfunny comments that were heavily peppered with racial slurs. Generally we're not much for giving a shit about people's internet leavin's, but these were approaching the realm of Pete Holmes's "LMAO these chiggers suk." Like previous incidents, we wrote the commenter off as your garden variety 35-year-old porn addict, but then, a few days later, our publisher received a voicemail from a self-proclaimed "naive 14-year-old" who likes to sum things up "briefly and practically." Her "personal complaint" was that our "magazine fucking sucks." It's easily the best phone message we've received this year. Click further for to a'listen.