Edible wench's true aims revealed
You may remember some time ago we wrote a witty blog post about PETA Vice President Ingrid Newkirk, the crazy lady who wanted to have her body cut into little pieces and sent all over the world in order to shock us callous humans into thinking twice before we buy a pet leopard off a website and keep it in a big Muji tupaware. Well we have a shocking UPDATE... As well as being mind bendingly self-important , it seems Ingrid may not have been as honest about her intentions as she should have been... A recent report by the Center for Consumer Freedom claims that "PETA killed 2,124 pets last year and placed only seven in adoptive homes". That, by anyone's standards, is a really impressive work rate, it is in fact a 95% fatality rate for all animals in PETA's care.
So, clearly Ingrid's will has been somewhat misinterpreted. What she actually wanted done with her skin was for it to be vulcanized, and then turned into big bags that animal lovers could fill with their money so PETA can buy a few hundred Russian-made assault rifles so that they could really cut the furry little fuckers in half, and maybe up their efficiency rate to 98%. Way to go animal lovers you are an example to us all.
Next week: Morrissey caught stabbing doves in his underground murder tomb.
BRUCE LE VRAI