Fur Is Murder But Mongolian Wool Is Not

A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that's made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.

MARTINE ROSE X ASOS

Whatever you may think of Azealia Banks’ new video, you can’t deny the girl’s got serious (though arguably time-sensitive) style. But regardless of whether you’re a Tumblr elitist bemoaning the mainstream's appropriation of your beloved seapunk tropes, or were a 13-year-old girl in 2003 (guilty) there’s a fuck lot of stuff stuck all over her bod during those three minutes that you're going to want to make your own.

Among the pink metallic trousers and green Scary Spire hair horns (what are those called?) it’s hard to pick a favourite outfit. But I suppose if you forced me to sit for three hours at work and watch her video on repeat, I might be able to arrive at some sort of conclusion.

To cut a long story short, it’s definitely all the amazing Martine Rose x ASOS stuff, including a badge print baseball hat with matching crop T-shirt which makes me want to dance like I’ve got snakes in my knickers. If you like cycling shorts with matching tops, backpacks and bomber jackets, then you’re gonna lose your shit over this. Plus there are a couple of pairs of limited edition Caterpillar x Martine Rose patent leather boots you can impulse internet buy as well, except you definitely won’t regret it three hours later. It’s not a Vince slouch neck T-shirt in teal, ok?

TERRY RICHARDSON FOR JUICY COUTURE

Unfortunately not everything is well and good in the world of fashion this week, something evident in the release of a film Terry Richardson made for tween screamgasm brand Juicy Couture, featuring the world's tiniest Victoria's Secret model: Candice Swanpoel. All three of them have combined in a clusterfuck of champers gargling Chateau Marmont inspired un-apologetic LA brain slime, which trickles down your spine as the video progresses, finally gripping your insides with the cold, wet, clamping hands of disgust. Oh soz, I don't mean to grumble, and I don't even dislike it that much. It's just watching models flounce around laughing to themselves makes me feel kind of upset and despairing… My bad.

FUR IS MURDER (BUT MONGOLIAN WOOL IS NOT)

Let's not get into the great fur debate because whichever side you take, chances are you'll pull a Naomi Campbell a couple of years down the line and change your mind (and run a campaign with a furrier after being a face of PETA, but who's keeping track). Whether you approve of tearing the skins from animals while they're still warm, or not, there's nobody this side of Siberia who can argue that fur isn't totally fashion. And now you can side-track the whole 'killing cute things' palaver and skip straight to the fluffy: with mongolian wool. While it might not scratch that itch Cruella De Ville's been trying to get at, it's doing wonders for my champagne-ethical wardrobe. Personal high street pieces I need, include these River Island tote bags in black, baby pink (hello Las Vegas) and rainbow stripe if you're a fashion blogger.

THE PUMA SHADOW SOCIETY

Puma threw a party last night to celebrate the launch of their new collection of sneakers and apparel designed by The Shadow Society, a collective of tastemakers and sneakerheads who know a lot more about shoes than you do. Re-imagining the ZDC82 from 1982 in colour blocked rough cut suede, and the 1990's classic R698 runner with athletic breathable mesh, premium suede overlays, and a translucent gum outsole, results in a kind of insanely current throwback; timeless shapes in relevant fabrics and colourways. You can't really fault that. You can't really fault free beer and hot dogs either, which is probably why Puma had truckloads of both at their party last night, plus tiny little puma shoe keyrings which make me more excited than they should have considering I'm technically a grown-up.

FARAH ARE THROWING A PARTY

To celebrate their first birthday, Citizens of Farah are throwing us all a party on Hoxton Square. In true birthday rager style, there will be free drinks, Tribes playing live, great DJ's and amazing photos by Gavin Watson: to be honest if they weren't a company, I'd think Farah were trying to hook up with me. RSVP and wait for email confirmation that you've got a place on the guestlist, then go down and see if you can make-out with a jumper.

HANON X REEBOK

If you're into limited edition vintage trainers but you're not into spending your life glued to the Ebay app (it's amazing btw) then you'll be pleased to know that purveyor of exclusive shoes Hanon have teamed up with Reebok to create a line of beautiful suede trainers. I can kind of imagine Larry David wearing these with a sharp white suit, on his wedding day. Maybe it's the gold accents. If you want to look like the coolest guy in the world, which you do, then these are the shoes for you.

SWATCH

Swatch's digital touch-screen watches have launched in four new colours, meaning you can buy four more and match them to all your outfits. Fun! Along with the matching silicone ribbed strap, the watches boast a big bright LCD screen and built-in backlight so you won't be fumbling for a lighter when you need to know whether or not it's time to leave the club. For stockists and more information visit www.swatch.com.

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