Unlike in somewhere like Berlin, London’s May Day protest is fun for all the family. It’s all puppets and theatre and friendly anarchists with cakes. This year's May Day protest was election themed. Four different groups started from each of the main parties' headquarters, as well as the BNP HQ in Clerkenwell, with plans to congregate in Central London and burn some effigies. I started from the BNP base, as did most of the anarchists.
As well as the anarchists there were communist groups, trade unions, human rights groups and this embarrassed socialist who didn't want his mum to read about him on Viceland.
After the revolution there will be education, work, and self-respect for all. There will also be a crust punk in every British home.
This guy epitomises everything that's wrong with British anarchists. In Europe he would've been stamped to death by his peers for bringing his shitty rock merch to an eat-the-rich protest.
Between them, these dudes have killed over 400 Million people, apparently that's preferable to another Labour government.
It's one thing to indoctrinate your kids into something with a future, like global Jihad, but these poor guys are destined to a life of disappointment and feeling like sell-outs.
As the march neared Trafalgar Square, the anarchists broke from the pack, bringing their Nick Griffin effigy together with the other doomed politicians.
Outside Parliament Clegg, Cameron, Brown and Griffin waited to die.
First up to the gallows was David Cameron who somehow still managed to look smug whilst being hanged.
This guy really enjoyed ripping Dave to pieces.
I was under the impression that Nick Clegg was the saviour of British politics and kind of popular, apparently not.
Gordon may look like he's endlessly on the verge of death, but he's surprisingly tough. It took about 12 strikes before his head had to be pulled off by the lady in the shiny dress.
Gordon Brown's effigy was by far them most elaborate and included blood spurting from his neck and organs that were torn from his torso and thrown at the gathering photographers. Fuck you liberal media!
Last up was Nick Griffin. Instead of giving him the dignity of a hanging or beheading, he was thrown straight into the crowd who stamped him to little tiny pieces.
After the executions the people celebrated by spray painting anarchy signs on war memorials and flipping the bird at passers by.
No-one actually fought any policemen.
Eventually God got bored of the whole thing and pissed on the parade. This whole protest was such a damp squib that it didn't make any news at all. It looks like we'll have to leave it up to the EDL for some rowdy times, which is a crying fucking shame.