Have you Slept with this Acrobat?
Until a few weeks ago, Godfrey Zaburoni (pictured) had more sex before breakfast than most people have their whole life. Then for breakfast, he'd have sex. He ate so much pussy his beard looked like a Cinnabon. His nipples are harder than it would be to convince Linda Cardellini I’m just a nice guy with an honest interest in her ability as an actress. Fuck, I’m pretty sure I’d have blown the guy. Unfortunately for hundreds of women in Australia and possibly more around the world, Zaburoni has HIV.
It’s recently been reported via pretty much every Australian news service that the African born acrobat and one time Australia’s Got Talent contestant, is being charged with knowingly infecting scores of lonely hearts across the country while touring as a circus performer. With his rock hard abs now safely behind bars, the police in conjunction with Queensland Health are trying to track down all of his former lovers, which may include some men, to break the uncomfortable news.
So, how do you go about tracking down the hundreds of faceless lovers of a traveling acrobat? Start a national smear campaign, that’s how. Zaburoni’s sexual exploits are being portrayed by the media as a full blown outbreak. His rippling, virus-riddled body is being plastered all over TV, magazines, and bus stops in the hopes of telling his ex-lovers, “Hey! Remember when you screwed that carnival acrobat without a condom? That was a mistake.”
Regional Crime coordinator Detective Superintendent Dave Hutchinson had this to say. “We are aware of a number of women we believe had unprotected sex with him but there could well be many others… Some of the women that have been identified certainly were very short-term relationships… so there could be any number of women out there like that.”
Predictably, the story has Australia’s white pride groups in a tizz, some predicting that “these (black acrobat loving) white whores will bring about our downfall quicker than anything, they are our greatest enemy!” Others bemoan the women’s stupidity. I mean, doesn't everybody know“Black men are 100 times more likely to have gonorrhea. Just think about those figures for a moment. If you have a room of 100 Negroes and 100 white men only one white man will have an STD but ALL 100 of the NEGROES will have an STD. That's just incredible.” Yeah: incredible math.
By the way, how cute is it that racists use emoticons?
As for us, we like to err on the side of compassion. After all, we’re all entitled to a few sexual mulligans. If you or anyone you know has had unprotected sexual intercourse with this beautiful man contact Queensland Health on +6132340111 or Queensland Crime Stoppers 1800 333 000